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How can i help somebody who suffers with depression?

NAS77179

Hi

I have trouble with getting stressed out that their negative emotions aren’t something within my control whenever I try to problem-solve and meddle. My first instinct is always to try and fix whatever the source of their sadness is, and even when I listen I feel compelled to give solutions instead of comfort. Does anybody know some good strategies for avoiding doing this, and knowing what to say instead? I just want to help my partner, but the only way I’ve ever known how is obviously just making things worse.

Thanks in advance

Parents

  • Try saying ‘that must be terrible for you, how does it make you feel?’ And then don’t say anything else until they finish saying whatever. My wife taught me that one. She knows that I’m just saying what she’s taught me and can’t really vary it but she also knows that I’m showing I care by trying to comfort her on her own terms even if I don’t fully understand how. 

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  • Try saying ‘that must be terrible for you, how does it make you feel?’ And then don’t say anything else until they finish saying whatever. My wife taught me that one. She knows that I’m just saying what she’s taught me and can’t really vary it but she also knows that I’m showing I care by trying to comfort her on her own terms even if I don’t fully understand how. 

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