Published on 12, July, 2020
God, it's like getting blood out of a stone sometimes!
Usually what happens is, I'm having a conversation, one of them says something confusing. I ask what they mean and they either ask another question, or make fun of me, or stare blankly. The more I ask for clarification, the weirder they get. It's like they're playing a game.
So I usually just give up and shut up.
Why is it so frigging difficult to answer a straightforward question??
Actually my ex H and his brother who are both on the spectrum can never answer a straight question with a straight answer
My husband is good at deflecting if he feels the question I ask is going to make him uncomfortable and equally annoying he will answer what he thinks I am asking - not what I am asking. This in itself then causes an argument because he says I must be implying something and I argue that I am more than capable of phrasing a question, and if I ask question A it is because I want question A answered!! He often says he forgets I have Aspergers so I ordered a hoodie from NAS so I can wear it at home and he can't forget!!
NAS77114 said:I am more than capable of phrasing a question, and if I ask question A it is because I want question A answered!!
Yeah, I'm there with you.
You want to say this:
"I'm an articulate person, and I'm perfectly capable of choosing my words with precision, and assembling them in exactly the right order, so that they convey my meaning with absolute accuracy.
It isn't necessary for you to re-order them, deconstruct them, or rephrase them and throw them back at me, with the stupid rhetorical question "are you saying that...?"
No, I'm not saying that; I am saying precisely -please note the word 'precisely' - what I actually said in the first place.
No additional clarity will come from you rewording what I said. In fact, the reverse is true.
If I make a statement, that will be (with some precision) the actual statement I wish to make.
If I ask a question, it won't be because I actually wanted the answer to a different question but (for some inexplicable reason) I wasn't capable of asking that one; it will be because I would like an answer to the question I asked."
But if you did say all that, because you're annoyed, you'd come across as a pompous prig. They still wouldn't focus on your original words and meaning, they'd be distracted by thinking that you're pompous. But you're only being pompous because they're being annoying!
Sigh. But we have to accept these things. We know that we think differently. Best to count to three, take a few deep breaths, remain calm, and in a very restrained and quiet way, ask them to please answer the question(!)