Issues in the bedroom

Hi, my husband, who I have been with for 11 years now has been in touch with doctors about being referred for a assessment for Autism.

Basically I'm trying to understand things from my husbands point of view.  We have had a rough time, we are both having counselling for our separate issues, I have not been very patient and understanding with my with husband and have got angry and annoyed with him quite easily and not been understanding due to the fact I was previously in a physically abusive relationship for 13 years, I have learned how to try and keep calm and think before I open my mouth ( not always successful, but loads better than I was.

Anyway one of the big issues we have is sex and my husband struggling to talk about it. I have a very high sex drive and his is very low.   I always seem to come onto him and he never comes onto me, he likes to plan when we will do it, which I do go along with but not really happy about this as more often than not I will be getting excited thinking we are going to have sex and then he has changed his mind and we don't have sex.    I would like it to be spontaneous and him to come onto me, but that never happens, I know before he said he was worried that he would come onto me and maybe I might not want to have sex, I said I'm always up for sex and in the very rare chance I'm not then I would tell him.

I just wondered if anyone could  give us and ideas/suggestions on how to work through this issue.

Parents
  • i remember  reading an odd psychology  paper/experiment on sexual attraction  

    these "games" improve the relationship

    A. be apart for periods of time eg  several days the longer the better lol

    B. be in bed together. You are allowed to touch but not the genitals, for say a while decided by one partner ( take turns ) 

    thats it

Reply
  • i remember  reading an odd psychology  paper/experiment on sexual attraction  

    these "games" improve the relationship

    A. be apart for periods of time eg  several days the longer the better lol

    B. be in bed together. You are allowed to touch but not the genitals, for say a while decided by one partner ( take turns ) 

    thats it

Children