Published on 12, July, 2020
Is drinking a wearing experience for you? For me, like for everyone, the way I react to this depends on the type of the drink and my previous state (like if I have eaten anything or not) but it's not a pleasure! I feel like I need to focus more on functioning, I waste more energy. I feel as if someone hit me on the head - that's a perfect explanation of how I cope with alcohol. Does any of you react in this way? Is it a type of hypersensitivity? Do any of you react differently?
Also, I hate how alcohol steals my ability to think, to notice things. I like thinking!
I don't like being properly drunk, because I want to feel in control. If I feel clumsy and stupid then I think I've gone too far. Having said that, I really enjoy being moderately tipsy because it is like an off switch for social discomfort and overthinking everything, so it allows me to enjoy myself like a normal outgoing person. I used to hate parties and I couldn't get up the nerve to dance even though I wanted to. But then one day I tried vodka for the first time and I suddenly realised that I could have fun and dance without worrying about people watching me :D
For me, socialising with the help of alcohol is like riding a bike with stabilisers. I drink a bit to improve my confidence while I practice, but I try to rely on it as little as possible.