Does this seem reasonable or am I being stupid?

As a taxpayer, I don't think there's anything morally wrong in how you spend it. If there was, people on benefits would get vouchers instead of money. And it's not as if you get more money just to buy this thing. You get the money you get, and we have a society with free choice how to spend it. 

I'm very restricted with my spending, but that is due to lifelong low self esteem caused by abuse when I was young.  And I have a full time job. 

Hi again, it is your money honey lol 

the benefit system is there to help people exactly like you, its a shame over the years so many who dont really need it and just use it as a personal bank account are the ones who make it difficult for the genuine cases. And benefits cheats are a very different kettle of fish.

if you have been assessed and have been awarded ESA then i have no doubt you are entitled to it, as the tests these days are rigorous and need evidence, so you ARE entitled to help, im sure your parents have contributed to the system in their working lives? 

Try not to worry too much about what you spend it on, you wont ever be asked to prove what you have unless applying for things like respite or residtial care when they ask you to prove you have no savings etc.

i want you to get your titan thingy (not going to pretend i know what that is lol) because you sounded so excited when you were talking about it! And anything that can give you so much joy has got to be worth it

. Sooz

Thankyou

Thankyou

Thanks for your reply. I've been wondering where my issues around being on benefits come from and I think it may be to do with so many years of exposure to the negative attitude in the media. I don't personally hold those views, but I think I have been left with the nagging sense that it is not my money if that makes sense? Oh well. In all honesty its not as if I haven't tried to engage while I was in the work related group and routinely made myself ill in attempting to fit in.  I'm hoping once all this calms down and I finally get to have an assessment that I may finally be able to be a bit kinder to myself if I get the result I suspect. 

Do it. Sounds amazing. Benefits are there to help you. No reason you should live less of a life because something means you're on benefits as long as you budget right and make sure you're looking after your essentials. Go for it. Best wishes

If you have the means to save for it, I think you should go for it :) Everyone deserves to treat themselves every now and again, and we're going through one of the biggest global challenges of our time - it's good to give ourselves something to look forward to.

Hi there, iv been on benefits for a long time as im a full time carer for my son.

please dont feel guilty for buying the things you want, that is what the money is for, to help you, help your life, make your life more manageable and enjoyable like others take for granted.

it sounds like you are doing really well in this current situation and you are entitled to reward yourself however you see fit. Nobody is judging and if it gives you something to look forward to, and something you have wanted for a while, then DO IT. 

Iv often felt guilty in the past when my son has had what others might deem “preferential treatment” to accommodate his needs, but as my sister always says to me, let any one of those people who have to wait in queues etc while we walk straight in switch lives with me just for 1 day and see how they would cope! 

Get what you want mate. Life is hard enough so whatever makes you happy has got to be a good thing.

good luck

sooz

Thanks! 

Happy birthday for last week! 

Happy belated birthday for you Plectrum, sorry to hear you didn’t get any cards  also happy birthday for you next week Kras83. You both should definitely treat yourself. Model figures and musical instruments  happy birthday 

Happy birthday for next week! Just had mine alone, no presents or cards, nothing! Exactly why I'm going to treat myself too! 

No you aren't mean, you didn't say anything mean. Just sensible stuff, and the price of this thing is horrendous. You are right about what you said concerning money and regrets. I guess in a way its no worse than spending a similar amount on a new shiny top end graphics card for a computer (never done that but I know people who have). Also its my birthday next week so I suppose I could pretend 37 is a major milestone worthy of major celebration. Oh well, maybe there will be a post from me in a month or 2 or whenever things open up showing a box containing about 5-6kg of resin model parts!

Seriously thanks for the feedback though, sometimes it feels like although you already sort of know the answer you just need to bounce it off other people to check you haven't gone crazy.

No you’re just more sensible than I am  your advice is better than mine. 

i feel really mean now- 

It sounds like something you will really enjoy mate. Go for it when you get a chance 

Go for it right now as to be honest it will give you a focus right now

Lol, my savings suggestions don't go a long way towards this. Sorry i don't know much about these models, but I can compare this with spending money on musical instruments for myself.  I don't need them but I think they are beautiful and I can spend hours learning to play them.  Spending money is a strange thing. It's in our deep personal values. 

I know a person who spent a couple of thousand on a tattoo, though money was tight and he has a family. I couldn't understand the priority of the tattoo at all.  On the other hand, he probably views me as a person who is totally boring and terrified of spending money  on the things they want. I had to be careful judging him, because we need to make these decisions all our lives and not let them eat us up in regret.

Why didn't i go and buy a flat in the last property crash when they were cheap? why didn't i buy a load of bitcoin 5 years ago?  there's no point regretting.

So, my friend, my advice is that when you decide to  allow yourself this thing, make an acceptance with yourself, that you won't allow yourself the feeling of regret or condemn yourself, even if you later find out you need money for something else.  

Thanks for the replies. I won't be getting myself into debt over this. Its something that would have to wait until they reopen online as they are currently shut down to protect their staff including their online business. They do however have a system where you can buy virtual vouchers and get 10% extra money banked as a bonus, so I would probably do what I can afford to save when they open.

As far as benefit to myself goes its hard to put into words as a model of such massive size wouldn't get many games at all, but the ones it did would be truly memorable. Warhammer 40k is however something I have been obsessing over for more than 15 years and the shear joy of building and painting something I could sink 100s of hours into and really explore a lot of techniques on gives me a warm glow of excited anticipation at the moment that really helps when overwhelmed by this different world.

I just needed some people to tell me 'yes its ok' as I suffer a huge amount of self doubt and always imagine the worst in terms of how others might react to my choices.

In case anyone is interested the model is this www.forgeworld.co.uk/.../Warbringer-Nemesis-Titan-with-Quake-Cannon-2019 The pictures don't do the level of detail justice. 

Hi Kras83, I'm also very frugal and restrictive with myself. I never think I deserve anything. However i think it's important to recognise that by being frugal you have probably already denied yourself something.  If you do feel bad about it, you could always keep a tally of the debt to yourself.

eg today i didn't buy x    saved : £20 

last week I didn't have haircut: saved £20

yesterday i walked to the shops : saved : £5

etc 

but maybe that is overkill.  I have counted the money I saved not using public transport recently and realised that I saved £60 so after deducting extra costs I can buy myself something for about £40 so I'm going to do it this weekend.

Besides that, I think you definitely deserve a reward for helping your parents.  I only mentioned the "accounting" method because that is how i justify everything to myself.

Alternatively you can make a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons. The con is the cost - so I bet there will be more than one "pro", particularly having something to help you through this Corona lockdown.