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Does this seem reasonable or am I being stupid?

Kras83

Hi all, I hope you are all coping as well as possible in the current situation. I wanted if possible to get some of your quick opinions on my strategy for getting myself through everything, as reasonable human beings in a possibly similar situation.

I recently had the result of my ESA reassessment and for the first time ever instead of having to fight and appeal just to get into the work related activity group I was placed in the support group and finally feel I at least in the medium term have some security. With all the current restrictions and the fact that I live with my parents, both of whom I considered to be vulnerable to this due to age and things like blood pressure I am needing to hold things together to go into the supermarket alone while they wait in the car. I have a really good reusable respirator from before all this I got for spray painting models so it makes sense. It takes me longer on my own and I need to lay down after (after showering!).

Anyway the thing I am doing to get through is dangling a big reward for myself once things relax at least a bit. It's something I have wanted for a very long time but being on benefits I always feel affected by the "you shouldn't get things you don't strictly need" attitude. All this though has made me realise that life can be short and continuously denying a dream could mean it never happening. I have the means to save for it right now as I am being very frugal, but I still feel a bit guilty for wanting to buy myself a big treat in this situation. Incase anyone is curious its a warhammer titan model, a massive modelling project. Is it morally ok to go for it if I can? 

Parents

  • Hi there, iv been on benefits for a long time as im a full time carer for my son.

    please dont feel guilty for buying the things you want, that is what the money is for, to help you, help your life, make your life more manageable and enjoyable like others take for granted.

    it sounds like you are doing really well in this current situation and you are entitled to reward yourself however you see fit. Nobody is judging and if it gives you something to look forward to, and something you have wanted for a while, then DO IT. 

    Iv often felt guilty in the past when my son has had what others might deem “preferential treatment” to accommodate his needs, but as my sister always says to me, let any one of those people who have to wait in queues etc while we walk straight in switch lives with me just for 1 day and see how they would cope! 

    Get what you want mate. Life is hard enough so whatever makes you happy has got to be a good thing.

    good luck

    sooz

  • in reply to Sooz

    Thanks for your reply. I've been wondering where my issues around being on benefits come from and I think it may be to do with so many years of exposure to the negative attitude in the media. I don't personally hold those views, but I think I have been left with the nagging sense that it is not my money if that makes sense? Oh well. In all honesty its not as if I haven't tried to engage while I was in the work related group and routinely made myself ill in attempting to fit in.  I'm hoping once all this calms down and I finally get to have an assessment that I may finally be able to be a bit kinder to myself if I get the result I suspect. 

  • in reply to Kras83

    As a taxpayer, I don't think there's anything morally wrong in how you spend it. If there was, people on benefits would get vouchers instead of money. And it's not as if you get more money just to buy this thing. You get the money you get, and we have a society with free choice how to spend it. 

    I'm very restricted with my spending, but that is due to lifelong low self esteem caused by abuse when I was young.  And I have a full time job. 

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  • in reply to Kras83

    As a taxpayer, I don't think there's anything morally wrong in how you spend it. If there was, people on benefits would get vouchers instead of money. And it's not as if you get more money just to buy this thing. You get the money you get, and we have a society with free choice how to spend it. 

    I'm very restricted with my spending, but that is due to lifelong low self esteem caused by abuse when I was young.  And I have a full time job. 

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