Does this seem reasonable or am I being stupid?

Hi all, I hope you are all coping as well as possible in the current situation. I wanted if possible to get some of your quick opinions on my strategy for getting myself through everything, as reasonable human beings in a possibly similar situation.

I recently had the result of my ESA reassessment and for the first time ever instead of having to fight and appeal just to get into the work related activity group I was placed in the support group and finally feel I at least in the medium term have some security. With all the current restrictions and the fact that I live with my parents, both of whom I considered to be vulnerable to this due to age and things like blood pressure I am needing to hold things together to go into the supermarket alone while they wait in the car. I have a really good reusable respirator from before all this I got for spray painting models so it makes sense. It takes me longer on my own and I need to lay down after (after showering!).

Anyway the thing I am doing to get through is dangling a big reward for myself once things relax at least a bit. It's something I have wanted for a very long time but being on benefits I always feel affected by the "you shouldn't get things you don't strictly need" attitude. All this though has made me realise that life can be short and continuously denying a dream could mean it never happening. I have the means to save for it right now as I am being very frugal, but I still feel a bit guilty for wanting to buy myself a big treat in this situation. Incase anyone is curious its a warhammer titan model, a massive modelling project. Is it morally ok to go for it if I can? 

Parents
  • Hi Kras83, I'm also very frugal and restrictive with myself. I never think I deserve anything. However i think it's important to recognise that by being frugal you have probably already denied yourself something.  If you do feel bad about it, you could always keep a tally of the debt to yourself.

    eg today i didn't buy x    saved : £20 

    last week I didn't have haircut: saved £20

    yesterday i walked to the shops : saved : £5

    etc 

    but maybe that is overkill.  I have counted the money I saved not using public transport recently and realised that I saved £60 so after deducting extra costs I can buy myself something for about £40 so I'm going to do it this weekend.

    Besides that, I think you definitely deserve a reward for helping your parents.  I only mentioned the "accounting" method because that is how i justify everything to myself.

    Alternatively you can make a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons. The con is the cost - so I bet there will be more than one "pro", particularly having something to help you through this Corona lockdown.

Reply
  • Hi Kras83, I'm also very frugal and restrictive with myself. I never think I deserve anything. However i think it's important to recognise that by being frugal you have probably already denied yourself something.  If you do feel bad about it, you could always keep a tally of the debt to yourself.

    eg today i didn't buy x    saved : £20 

    last week I didn't have haircut: saved £20

    yesterday i walked to the shops : saved : £5

    etc 

    but maybe that is overkill.  I have counted the money I saved not using public transport recently and realised that I saved £60 so after deducting extra costs I can buy myself something for about £40 so I'm going to do it this weekend.

    Besides that, I think you definitely deserve a reward for helping your parents.  I only mentioned the "accounting" method because that is how i justify everything to myself.

    Alternatively you can make a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons. The con is the cost - so I bet there will be more than one "pro", particularly having something to help you through this Corona lockdown.

Children
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