Questions

Hi, 

I got diagnosed with autism last year, at the age of 21, due to a joke which then turned quite real. Even though I had a good therapist, I was left with too many questions to answer. 

I tried to find answers in articles online or in books but the situations were all different, they all had family which understood and was supportive. 

I wonder, why autism never gets discussed in my family. The only thing I heard was that I don’t seem like the typical autistic person and that it doesn’t make sense to them that I was diagnosed to begin with and if anyone else has these issues. 

I wonder if anyone else’s problems just get downplayed by other people when they try to open up. Every time I say that I have autism people react with the same sentence “is it diagnosed then?” 
this reaction just blows my mind. 
I wonder why I never seem to fit in anywhere, even if I try so hard. I don’t even feel like I’m a past if my own family anymore. There is nothing that connects me to my parents an when I visit them, there is nothing we talk about.
My masking also doesn’t work very well anymore. Did anyone else experience their masking abilities to just disappear or weaken? 

There are so many more questions I have but I have no one who can help me with that. I’d love to have a few people to talk to (: 

So I don’t really know where I was going with this, maybe just letting off some steam?
If you wanna say something then you are welcome to do so (: 

It’s my first time in a forum so please don’t be too harsch on me!