I got diagnosed with autism last year, at the age of 21, due to a joke which then turned quite real. Even though I had a good therapist, I was left with too many questions to answer.
I tried to find answers in articles online or in books but the situations were all different, they all had family which understood and was supportive.
I wonder, why autism never gets discussed in my family. The only thing I heard was that I don’t seem like the typical autistic person and that it doesn’t make sense to them that I was diagnosed to begin with and if anyone else has these issues.
I wonder if anyone else’s problems just get downplayed by other people when they try to open up. Every time I say that I have autism people react with the same sentence “is it diagnosed then?” this reaction just blows my mind. I wonder why I never seem to fit in anywhere, even if I try so hard. I don’t even feel like I’m a past if my own family anymore. There is nothing that connects me to my parents an when I visit them, there is nothing we talk about. My masking also doesn’t work very well anymore. Did anyone else experience their masking abilities to just disappear or weaken?
There are so many more questions I have but I have no one who can help me with that. I’d love to have a few people to talk to (:
So I don’t really know where I was going with this, maybe just letting off some steam? If you wanna say something then you are welcome to do so (:
It’s my first time in a forum so please don’t be too harsch on me!
Hi Lisa welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Lisa said:The only thing I heard was that I don’t seem like the typical autistic person and that it doesn’t make sense to them that I was diagnosed to begin with and if anyone else has these issues.
Can I just ask, here you say that people (your family?) say that you aren't typical; does that mean that you are not like other people they know who have also been diagnosed Autistic or that you are not typical to what they believe an Autistic person 'should' be?
I ask because you are you and there is no typical or not typical but how you deal with that will depend on why people believe you're not typical.
Hello Lisa, welcome to the forum! I have been diagnosed with Level 2 ASD. Do feel free to ask any questions and read my profile.
It can be difficult having Autism because, some people may struggle to understand what the condition is, and what effects it has on the person that has it. It can also be difficult on you because, others cannot understand why you are the way you are. It basically means that you do things differently to others, in a way that makes sense to yourself.
Unlike other disabilities (Although it is classed as a condition), others cannot tell whether or not a person has Autism. Some people may be surprised to learn that you have the condition.
I too, struggle to fit in. I am normally quiet as a grave, unless the subject is something that interests me. Other than that, I seem to be more fluent in the written/typed word rather than spoken.
Hi Leaf, thanks for the kind words (:
I think that they just have a certain image of how autistic people behave but they never met anyone who was diagnosed. The only cOn my way! thing I ever got from my family was “well if you have autism.. then it’s more like Aspergers because you don’t have typical autism.” When I explained that Aspergers is different, it was just disregarded and never spoken of again.
Hi there, thanks for the response! can I ask what type 2 ASD is? I didn’t know that there were different types besides classic autism, Aspergers and PDD-NOS
Basically, Autism has three levels of severity, with level 3 being the most severe, and level 1 (Where Asperger's sits) is the least severe.
This link will be able to inform you more about different symptoms.
That is so frustrating for you.
How open do you think your family would be to learning about autism, perhaps if you found some people on YouTube that you felt you could relate to, would your family be prepared watch and then discuss with you? There are quite a few Aspies with YouTube channels and your family could see other people with Autism who don't fit the stereotype that they imagine; I'm just suggesting YouTube because seeing someone "in person" so to speak wouldn't let their imagination take over and create a bias. Does that make sense? It's just a though, possibly not a very good one, though.
I have thought about things like that as well. Sadly, my parents are both German and don’t understand English at all so most of the YouTube channels are out of question. Another thing is that they are way too close minded to talk about things like autism and frankly I have kind of given up explaining things to them because I now live 700km away anyways. It’s just that I’ve encountered plenty of other people who just don’t understand or don’t want to. Especially on the job, when trying to make friends, you just know that it won’t work out because they downplay everything I say and make it seem like I am just imagining things or whining about things which then have me question if the diagnosis is actually real or if I’m just super sensitive and I don’t really know where I fit in because even if I read books like Aspergirls or watch channels like the aspie world etc. I have issues seeing myself in those videos/books. Maybe I’m just overanalysing. I’m sorry for whining but it feels so good to finally, after 22 years, to talk to people who understand at least a little.
Thank you so much for the link! This was very helpful
Not a problem. I'm glad I could help. If there's anything else... Just ask!
Please don't feel you are whining because you are not, nor are you imagining things, you are not alone in how you feel, it is so hard constantly feeling like ever human interaction is an up hill struggle, like everything needs an explanation and to be justified, when sometimes it feels like we are the ones making all the compromises. It is exhausting.
I think also that a lot of us don't know where we fit in and a quick look at Goodreads reviews for Aspergirls suggests that many women don't see themselves in that book - it got a lot of 3 star reviews. I haven't read so I can't really judge it but it would seem it's brilliant for some and a bit meh for others.
Lisa said:Maybe I’m just overanalysing
Overanalysing is what we do