Published on 12, July, 2020
I sometimes use the "search" function to look up some questions I have to see if someone in the past has already ask similar questions. And when I look at past posts, like posts that were 6 years old, the people who were actively replying to posts back then (e.g., having many posts/replies and top contributor), pretty much all of them are not actively posting now. Actually, it doesn't even have to be that long, a lot of people who were active 3 years ago are not active now. So I'm curious, what causes people to leave? Is it because they got what they needed (e.g., originally needing advice on how to get a diagnosis and then they got one)? Or is it because they get bored of having to answer the same questions over and over for so long? Or is it because they had some bad experience here? Or is it because they later got a negative diagnosis and felt they don't belong? Or is it because they got too busy in life (e.g., work, family, friends, and other demands)? Or is it because they realised that they like the forum too much that they are spending too much time on it and should take a break? Or is it because they found a different ASD group (e.g., more local, more focused)? Or because they moved to a different country?
Do you think you will still be on this forum 5 years later?
I came looking for answers, support and to be supportive. I probably made a mess of it all and realise online is not a good place for someone who already struggles to read body language, intonation etc. I couldn’t even realise whether two people were just sparring like Punch and Judy or whether there were more serious things going on. Nor do I know if I was perceived as helpful or disruptive etc. I only meant to be helpful, but it’s even more difficult than in real life when you haven’t a clue who you are talking to, how they really are and how you are really affecting them, if at all. I’m also thoroughly disappointed with NAS. But that was my fault. Unrealistic expectations. I really am a nobody who needs to go back to observing real people. Online forums are really not suitable places for someone like me. Thanks for the help I’ve gleaned and received though. Sorry I’m not good at contributing.
After a while.thimgs get very reperitive, I doubt whether there are more than twenty different topics.posted in reality. And after a while I can understand your point about having problems in the real world that contributing to the forum.just makes worse.
I don't think it is your fault in any way, it is just that in every hundred people, a hundred of them have different views on what it should be about. And there are mischief makers.whose.only purpose seems.to be to wind others.up.and make.things unpleasant, even perhaps inadvertantly.
But this forum should.not be used as a substitute for the real.world. There is a world out there to enjoy wirh all its beauty and and enjoyment.and wide open spaces. There are places I like.to avoid in crowds, officialdom and the like,.but I find comfort in the sound of birdsong, the chuckle.of.a.stream,.the wind in my hair and the sun on my skin.
Crowds and groups.on forums on the internet can be just as stressful.as.those who you find outside.
Nor do I feel wanted here anyway. I’m just not part of the club. I feel even less included than in the real world. So I’ll work on the real world instead. It’s a bit odd here anyway. I just cannot figure it all out. It’s had a really depressing effect on me. Not everyone, just the general negative stuff. Life is for living, since I have to. Not tapping on a screen about.