what kind of work do people do?

A vexed area in my family, i think.

My husband was a teacher but really would have felt more suited to being a lighthouse keeper, an archivist, a weather station operator, anything solitary.  Househusband might ahve been better for his overall wellbeing?  Why not?

And there were and are loads of other teachers in my family (coinciding, i think with the familial path of autism) but I mostly worked, mostly unhappily, as an accountant.  It took a lot of years to know myself and my actual diagnosis only came at the end of last year so much of this unhappiness was due to lack of awareness, self knowledge and insight.   

So...  What would I have prefered?  Writer, artist, garden designer, psychologist.  I did eventually retrain as a counsellor, but by that time there were loads of other pressures within my family so felt it would have been unethical plus very difficult to continue. 

Suffice it to say that work has proved to be extremely problematic for us.  The skills and qualifications taught at school turned out to be a very poor match for the workplace.  So, although academically quite successful, we struggled. 

Well-suited?  I'd firstly suggest working for yourself to avoid difficult hierarchical situations.  Secondly, building up a portfolio of streams of income rather than relying on one because, if it's at all possible to do, this creates more stability and continuity should one venture fail.  Thirdly, don't listen to what society tells us about so-called "good jobs".  How are they good?  Do they assume we're chasing the largest salary or the most prestige?  How might they suit us over the years, bearing in mind our personailities and inclinations?  Are we all necessarily suited to the workplace at all and, if not, what's so bad about that?  Do we, and should we, all HAVE to work?    (Why can't we have a citzen's wage, for example, why do people always ask "What do you do?" first and foremost when they meet us, why is there so much judgement around working/not working etc?) 

Beyond that?  Well, I'd say we're as individual as NTs so it's hard to be specific.  But I did rather better as a self employed counsellor (earning only a small wage) than as an accountant (a so-called "good job" with a decent salary).  In many ways I was contributing more to society too but it just wasn't reflected in my income.  

I feel another thread coming on - the issue of work and conditions of worth.   

This is a really good point. Am I well suited to my job? That's a difficult question. Most jobs involve social interaction and people managing, which is difficult. I'm also not sure how well I'd get on if I worked on my own. 

Jenny Butterfly said:

Why can't we have a citzen's wage, for example

Ive also thought this would be an great idea. Give everyone £10k a year and scrap all benefits. logically it would save so much money on working out who is entitled to what. However, nothing ever works logically, and no one would agree to it and there would probably be just as many problems with it as there are currently. Just different ones.

This is a really good point. Am I well suited to my job? That's a difficult question. Most jobs involve social interaction and people managing, which is difficult. I'm also not sure how well I'd get on if I worked on my own. 

Jenny Butterfly said:

Why can't we have a citzen's wage, for example

Ive also thought this would be an great idea. Give everyone £10k a year and scrap all benefits. logically it would save so much money on working out who is entitled to what. However, nothing ever works logically, and no one would agree to it and there would probably be just as many problems with it as there are currently. Just different ones.

Fully agree.  I just struggled to make a decent living without giving my all to work.  And I think this probably related to autism because I seemed to have to work hard not only at actually doing the job but also at presenting appropriately, fitting in and behaving in a "normal" fashion. 

More balance would have been extremely welcome but to get that I felt I had to hide behind my liver condition.  

Yes, very likely the same here, that my autistic self was secretly pleased with being able to enjoy a bit more balance and a bit less stress. The thing is we are able to make positive contributions to society outside of work. The emphasis shouldn't be solely on what work we do or how much we work.

Yes - my body started making the big decisions that my brain wasn't able to.   Time to re-evaluate my life's purpose...

Yes.  I had a wake up call in the form of a chronic illness which meant I simply couldn't continue as I was.  Now that I've been diagnosed with autism, though, I have the creeping feeling that, although my surface reasons for making changes and moving away from certain roles that felt toxic to me related to my liver complaint, underneath my autistic self was heaving a big sigh of relief.   

I think that when I was younger, certainly in my early 20's, my focus was definitely on achieving as much academically as I could. It was all about being as high functioning as I could possibly be. Studying full time at University; working; bringing up a child on my own. I genuinely used to have a 'retirement list' a list of recreational activities that I wanted to do but would realistically only actually have time to do once I was retired. I look back now and I have no clue how I managed it but I was very very efficient back then. But, long before I ever got my ASD diagnosis I had a massive wake up call when I was 26. I had an ABI in an RTA which has given me a bit of executive dysfunction and I had to reassess my life and my priorities and adapt to having to work within a lower level of functioning compared to what I had been used to. I didn't adapt overnight, It took years and at times that journey took me to some pretty horrific places in my head. But, I learned balance; I learned to know my limits and not to push myself past them; I have adapted my life so that I can still do work at a good level but in a way that suits me. For example, I do agency work instead of having a permanent job because it gives me a lot more flexibility over when and where I work and avoids getting caught up in the politics of organisations. I think also that age can be an important factor in having the ability to do what you want rather than what you feel that you should do, to be able to say, no that's not good for me so I'm not going to do it. It is certainly a skill that can be learnt with time though.

Thanks Kitsun.  I definitely see these considerations what ought to be underpinnng the whole system but which generally - from a societal and governmental/DWP perspective - aren't.  In my experience the whole impetus, beginning early in our education and right through into our experiences in the workplace later in life, is on competition and achievement.  I don't recall many times in my own education when we were encouraged to reflect upon our own qualities and preferences and this was, i think a very unbalanced start to life.  

Throughout my education, the emphasis was firmly on getting 10/10 and I continued to try to do this in my job as an accountant.  None of this was enjoyable or made me happy, but it took until mid life to step back and change my priorities so that they were more aligned with me as a whole person.  

I'm not sure how prevalent this is but I suspect it's quite widespread.  Plus I also wonder whether being autistic made things worse in that i tended to accept the external views of others in my (often futile) attempts to fit in and be accepted.  There was a strong sense of, "I thought I had to,"  and it felt strange when this all came tumbling down.       

Can I just butt in here please? Just to say that I think all too often that there is too much emphasis placed on a person's 'quantity' of life, that is, how much they can achieve? Do they tick all the boxes of what society deems to be an expected way of living. Whereas actually the focus should be more on quality of life. Does the person enjoy their life? They may have limits but are they living a good quality of life within what they know to be their functional limits? Basically in the person happy? If the answer is no then changes should be made to increase the level of that person's happiness where possible. It's about finding out what works for us. What gives us a sense of being a functional part of society but at a level that is within our means and doesn't over load or stretch us too much. It's about keeping a good balance, I am always all about keeping a balance. Sorry! butting in now over!

Indeed.  I just find it problematic if the default assumption is that everyone must work in paid employment. 

I can remember reading, years ago in a graduate careers centre, a very small paragraph about some people being temperamentally unsuited to the workplace.  I strongly felt that this was me, and yet I went on to work for decades, although often struggling,  burning myself out or not contributing to the team in the prescribed ways.  It wasn't a total disaster but I look back at some of my jobs and think, "I shoudn't have been there."   Unfortunately the paragraph didn't give any guidance or pointers as to what to do should you fall into that category.  I'm surprised the statement was included at all, really.  But there's definitely an issue, I think, particularly in the corporate world and if you land in this world without, say, an independent source of income or a convenient family business and are forced to apply for anything you can get, irrespective of your aptitudes and suitablility. 

As to alternatives, it's really difficult.  But I think that lots of people are compelled to continue with no way out when actually they shouldn't be.  I know of people with severe issues who are now at work and for whom it constantly feels as though the whole apple cart could be upset at any moment.  And I'm fairly sure they're not in the "good jobs" that used to be mentioned at school as an encouragement to work hard.