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Can’t lie

Nancy

Hi

I posted a question yesterday for the first time and people on here have been so kind. Thankyou all.  I’m therefore asking another question of you lovely people.

I understand people on the spectrum say it how it is and can’t lie. If a person on the spectrum says something unkind I get that they don’t see it as unkind but if the person on the receiving end points out to them that they have hurt their feelings does the person on the spectrum understand what they have done once it’s explained to them?

Thanks

Parents

  • Hi Nancy, can I just ask please, why are you asking us this question?

  • in reply to Kitsune

    Yes of course. I’m fairly sure my adult daughter is on the high functioning autistic spectrum.  She has said quite hurtful things over time and I just wanted to know whether there was any point trying to explain to her what she has done. I’m just tying to get a better understanding really. 

  • in reply to Nancy

    Thank you for clarifying. Yes of course there’s a point to explaining to her that things she has said have been hurtful as you shouldn’t have to put up with her saying hurtful things to you. You may need to be very specific though when explaining exactly what she has said and exactly why it has hurt you. I’m pretty sure that my eldest daughter (21) also has AS, luckily we are and always have been very close, like best friends really, so she doesn’t say hurtful things to me BUT one thing that I have really struggled with with her recently is trying to get her to see how her behaviour impacts on other people and makes them feel (with regards to bf/friend’s) and it’s virtually impossible, to get her to put herself in the other persons shoes and see how her behaviour affects them, unless she has been in the same situation herself. Even though I’m terrible at seeing others perspective myself, it really winds me up when I am explaining to her in the bluntest most direct way ever, and she still doesn’t get it! 

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  • in reply to Nancy

    Thank you for clarifying. Yes of course there’s a point to explaining to her that things she has said have been hurtful as you shouldn’t have to put up with her saying hurtful things to you. You may need to be very specific though when explaining exactly what she has said and exactly why it has hurt you. I’m pretty sure that my eldest daughter (21) also has AS, luckily we are and always have been very close, like best friends really, so she doesn’t say hurtful things to me BUT one thing that I have really struggled with with her recently is trying to get her to see how her behaviour impacts on other people and makes them feel (with regards to bf/friend’s) and it’s virtually impossible, to get her to put herself in the other persons shoes and see how her behaviour affects them, unless she has been in the same situation herself. Even though I’m terrible at seeing others perspective myself, it really winds me up when I am explaining to her in the bluntest most direct way ever, and she still doesn’t get it! 

Children