Published on 12, July, 2020
I've shared my sleeping problems here before.
Today or should I say tonight, I woke up at 3am, totally exhausted from trying to fall asleep. In fact I was sleeping, but I was having a nightmare that I was awake and trying to sleep
Now it's 4am and I'm afraid to sleep.
That is awful. I have very vivid nightmares. When I wake up it takes a while for me to realise that what happened was just a dream. Sometimes the impact of what I dreamt lingers on - like the time I dreamt that I tried to strangle my bullying boss. It was difficult seeing her at work the next day because I felt like I had grabbed her by the neck!
Do hope you have a restful day today and sleep much better tonight.
We have had snow here in NE England this morning - any sign of it where you are?
No snow here, yet.
Last night's nightmare was strange. I had the theme song from the 70s romantic comedy series, ''No, honestly " going through my head and I was trying to find the DVD. I was certain that I had the whole series dvd. Only after I woke up and maybe twenty minutes later I realised that I've never owned that dvd.
No wonder you dislike being photographed that childhood experience must have been very distressing. I hated posing for photographs as a child - it seemed so fake. On one occasion I was wearing a brand new pale yellow jumper. My mother made me pose for a photo up against a wooden fence. The jumper got lichen all over it and was ruined which really upset me. I look back at photos of myself now and realise how few (if any) show the real me. Perhaps just one, taken as a teenager, of me doing some art work, sitting on the floor wearing an old shirt.
Although I am a photographer and I share many photos here. I also dislike and avoid being photographed.
It all goes back to one incident in my childhood.
My parents were Polish Roman Catholics and at holy communion I was in a group photograph with other children.
When my mother saw the photograph she went crazy and accused me of spoiling the whole picture. And how ashamed she was of my appearance and didn't want the other mothers to know that that boy was her son.
The only problem that I saw was that I wasn't looking straight at the camera but slightly outwards, upwards and my Adam's apple was clearly visible.
Looks quite extraordinary now doesn't it! I cringe when I remember some of the things I used to wear in my youth - fortunately I was never daft enough to wear hot pants or platform shoes, and there is limited photographic evidence as I avoided being photographed whenever possible!
I cringed looking at that dance video. Those are the nostalgic memories from my youth.
That is a very unusual nightmare indeed! Thank you for reminding me about "No, honestly" it prompted me to play this youtube video - just look at the dancers- oh what strange times we have lived through! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1HHWwEv681I Hope you have a much better night's sleep tonight.