I don't want to embarrass the perpetrators of the posts by name, there have been more than one, but at times their appear troll like posts on these forums.
Perhaps it is inadvertant, but asking for advice and then showing little respect for the replies that are made in good faith, name calling using unacceptable language, putting across a belief that one has and then insisting this belief is irrefutable despite what others have said and with no evidence, or criticising others for valid views seems to me the sort of thing a troll would do.
I don't know whether it is a 'road from Damascus' moment (the 'from' is deliberate as it seems to be that the eyes have been closed and not opened) but there has also been what appears to be a personality change at times. We are autistic, but this does not mean we cannot work things out and with proper respect views can be contrary to those of others. And sometimes there are members here with particular knowledge which is useful to others. But posting information to further a theory of doubtful basis is not what I believe this forum is for, and one should expect others to put the alternative view.
I know I wind people up at times, hopefully not too many times on this forum. But I do try to think about what I am saying, give information in good faith, accept other peoples contributions with good humour, and not spout rubbish.
But there does seem at times to be people here with nothing to add to a conversation but spout nonsense.
Blueray, are you ok?
BlueRay please don’t leave.
Your part of the family, misunderstandings have occurred,
Be you as everyone else is and should be, your words are not intended to cause hurt in any way, no one deliberately tries to upset,
Having spent fifty plus years not fitting, being denounced for all I believe, then coming here allows me to truly be me, still not always fully understood, but tolerance and understanding is always there, you are you, unique and have your own beliefs and what you believe is you, never allow anyone to tell you other wise, I want everyone to also know that you are fully allowed to be you, believe in yourself, be strong,
We can’t all be right or wrong , individualism.
Yes, thank you for asking though Kitsun, I appreciate that and I don’t want to alarm anybody. I needed to not be spending so much time on here anyway, but sometimes, in fact, almost always, I need a little nudge to help me stop what I’m doing in order to do something else ~ I’m a bit like Forest Gump, when I start walking, I don’t stop until I drop and so on and so forth, with just about everything I seem to do.
It’s extremely interesting for me to observe this in me. For example, I’ve realised that I literally don’t even like the change between day and night and it’s like I need something like at least 12 hours of me time, everyday, before I can feel like the day is now over!
It’s all good stuff and all this new data I’m collecting about myself and how I’m affected by autism and ADHD, will be used at my sessions with my autism plus worker so together we can figure out a way to make best use of my traits etc.
So even if I do feel like trainspotter and Tom are having a go at me, again, I take it with gratitude because I seriously needed to be spending less time on here. And yes, I’m very dramatic with my catastrophic black and white thinking ~ image ~ me, as a black and white movie star, feigning fainting lol ~ but yes, I’m very much ok. I just think that some people have a real aversion to happy people and some people don’t even think it’s possible to be happy all the time. I’ve had this reaction all my life, to the degree that for a while, I started to hide my happiness and live like everybody else ~ it nearly killed me! *** WARNING *** Never try to be normal! ;)
No, please stay, BlueRay. I'm going to be taking time out myself. I don't mean to have a go at you. I admit I get very wound up by some stuff and it leads me to being unnecessarily strident and disrespectful. It's a 'quality' that I don't like about myself. You'll be surprised to hear, no doubt, that I'm my own worst critic - and there are times when I actively dislike the person I am and the way I come across. I hate bullying - and yet I look at some of the things I do and say and realise that is exactly what I can do, too. I'm a hypocrite. I hate upsetting people, but I do it all the time.
I need to take the time out, really. I need to reassess my life. I need to look a bit deeper inside. I need to try to be a better person.
Stick around. You clearly care, and you do a lot to help others. You're helping Ellie when she most needs it.
I'm sorry for the things I have said. I speak without thinking. Maybe we all do. I allow things to get under my skin. I shouldn't. Live and let live.
Take care x
Sorry Lone, I didn’t mean to sound so dramatic. Yes, I do feel like I need to take a bit of a break from this site but I won’t stay away forever ~ you are all far too precious to me for me to do that And you’re right, it’s just a matter of misunderstandings and not what I see in my mind as people hating me and wanting to get me off this site, again!
But as you, several others and the moderators on here, told me last time, I am welcome here despite my totally radical outlook on our beautiful, perfect and truly fabulous world ️
This is me, being all dramatic
I have never taken any part of your behaviour to be disrespectful, not in the least. You are far from that, despite what you might think about yourself. And yes, most people, in fact all of us (until we’re not) are our own worst critics, and I guess that’s what I’m often trying to say really, that nobody can hurt us more than we hurt ourselves. The thoughts we think about ourselves are often far harsher than what we would ever think about another person, no matter how bad we thought that person was.
It’s not that you’re a hypocrite Tom, that’s just one way of looking at things and there isn’t a person amongst us who is not a hypocrite. But when we can see the behaviour of others, in ourselves, so long as we don’t approach it with judgement or criticism, we can come to a place of greater humility and compassion, for others and ourselves. And if we want to go deeper into things (it depends how far down the rabbit hole somebody wants to go) we will see that we can learn a great deal from the people who stimulate something the strongest reactions in us, by looking deeper into what it is within us that has been affected.
That will probably sound gobbledygook if you don’t know what I’m talking about. But I guess what I’m saying is, please don’t judge yourself harshly, not ever, and you definitely DON’T need to be a better person. In fact, is that even possible? Can anybody actually ever be any better than what they actually are?
Your kindness and your ever flowing demonstration (don’t know what word to use) to always help others whenever and wherever you can, far outshines any other qualities you have but all qualities, traits or whatever you want to call them, are good, even the ones that look bad ;)
You have nothing to be sorry about. I know my world view is radical, by most people’s standards. I have met so many people in my life, being a traveller and living in lots of different places etc etc and very few people have not said ‘I have never met anybody like you before’ to me. I mean, how many other people, GENUINELY, see the world as absolutely perfect, just as it is and sees nothing but beauty and love all around, everywhere and in all situations? Lol! It’s radical, I realise that and I realise that because it is so far away from most people’s world view, it can be seen in all sorts of ways as people try to make sense of me from their world view perspective. I do help a lot of people though and like I said, even people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, but I should maybe keep the deeper stuff for when I’m working with clients or for people who are wanting to go deeper into their understandings of themselves and the world.
My own web site will be up and running soon so I’ll use that space to talk more freely and when I’m on here I’ll bare in mind that most people are living in a three dimensional universe so I’ll keep what I say to that dimension.
Have a good day. I’m at one of my favourite coffee shops, I’ve managed to get my favourite seat and I’m going through my goals and reading emails etc, enjoying my coffee and just enjoying the day X
I’m not staying away forever, just taking a break :)
I apologise Trainspotter, as we have now gone off on a complete tangent on your thread. However, it was done out of concern for Blueray’s wellfare (I fear, from previous threads this week, that she may have been feeling a bit belittled and unvalued), not with any intention to annoy or irritate yourself. Unfortunately, I can’t find a means to send her a private message on here otherwise I would do that rather than gate crash your thread.
I apologise Trainspotter, as we have now gone off on a complete tangent on your thread. However, it was done out of concern for Blueray’s wellfare (I fear, from previous threads this week, that she may have been feeling a bit belittled and unvalued), not with any intention to annoy or irritate yourself.
No need to apologise for that, I regard people's welfare as paramount whatever I have said and that is more important.
And I am guilty myself of going off on tangents, but I hope I never go off topic to spout controversial views. I always try to 'engage brain' before opening my metaphorical mouth when replying to the posts on these forums. Many posts I make take literally hours to put together, I tend not to put my thoughts down quickly and many times I write but don't post because I think it comes across the wrong way or in a way which wasn't intended.
Whether my post does or does not refer to someone who has thought it is about them and replied here is not really my point. And I still will not single out any one person, there are posts from several different people over a period of time that are 'guilty' of the same thing.
With freedom of speech comes responsibility. A topic on say, favourite castles could go off topic occasionally to some town which has a castle, and then another post could mention a famous inhabitant of that town or the beauty of that town and that would make interesting reading in that topic.
But if someone then went on to write about their thoughts on global warming and putting controversial views that it was caused by the ingredients of milkshakes, that would in all probability be off topic and not suitable for that thread, especially if this then became a discussion about global warming or milkshakes rather than the original purpose of the thread.
I just wanted to try to encourage the people to whom I was referring to think a bit more when posting, controversial posts will usually bring strong views which can then bring robust replies and in an off-topic post things can become unpleasant to read. And it begins to look as if the only purpose of posting is because someone only wants to see their writing on the screen with no regard to the relevance to the topic or others reading it.
I hope people continue to post on controversial subjects but please make a separate thread for it, and not change a 'friendly' thread into something controversial.
And that I hope will be my final word about this!
That sounds like hell to me. Having to keep within someone else’s rules, having to think so much before talking, therefore, talking from the head and not from the heart. Trying to work out if what you are saying is controversial or not or trying to guess how others are going to understand what you say or how they’re going to take it. With so many people and so many views I would be hard pressed to find anything to say that came within the rules, beyond surface level niceties, that we learn for when we’re talking to nt’s. How would anybody know what another person would find unpleasant to read? And why would it not be possible for the reader to simply stop reading that which they found to be unpleasant? Why does it have to be the writer that stops writing?
And who likes seeing their writing on screen? Just asking cos I’m curious, as I’ve never heard of that quirk before. But even if they did, wouldn’t we be encouraging them to write rather than discouraging them thereby denying them of their pleasure?
There are a lot of aspies like me, who suddenly spout something that appears to be random, mid conversation. Are you saying we should squash this evil thing in us and stick rigidly, with maybe a little sway, to the main topic of the conversation? I can tell you, you would not get on with me and my pals at my autism group. Our conversations are totally random, and we love them. I guess that’s it, you and I are simply two people who’s needs etc don’t gel.
Anyway, the good thing for me is that you neither make nor enforce the rules. I’m grateful to be reminded that I go too far sometimes, with trying to explain my world view to other people. When really, it’s not possible because it isn’t even a possibility in most people’s minds, to live like I do, so their minds are not even open to it. And that’s perfectly ok. I’m grateful for the reminder and I will be mindful to keep my mind in the third dimension, which is where most people live, and I’ll speak that language. I can speak that language, it’s just that sometimes, when I’m relaxed and having fun, I start speaking from the dimension that I live in and that’s when the trouble starts because nobody’s got a clue what I’m saying and they don’t always try to find out they simply label it as something they don’t want to hear or they try to prove it wrong, or some other weird thing.
So I don’t know how that leaves you. I doubt every other person is going to stick to your rules either, but that’s your thing. For my part, I’ll be more mindful to use third dimensional language that people can understand.
Darling, you look wonderful, but I can’t see your boots! X