I love malapropisms: similar-sounding but incorrect words, which sometimes have a humorous effect.
Here are a couple of recent ones:
Have you seen any funny word stuff? If so, do share!
I love anything like this. I can think of a few pacific (!) ones...
Stationary Shop (you mean one that doesn't move?)
Complimentary gifts (gifts that tell you how nice your hair looks)
I saw some graffiti on a wall once saying 'Skinheads are basted' - to which someone had added 'Yes... but much nicer sauted'.
Incidentally... today (if you leave off the first zero) is a palindromic date: 81118
There's a joke about a little boy saying to his mum 'Don't ever take me to Thames Station.' His mum asks why not. He says 'Because in the Lord's Prayer, it says 'lead us not into Thames Station.'
Then there's the old Dave Allen one. He says when he was a kid, he was at a funeral for an uncle or someone. And he felt sure, as they stood by the graveside, that the minister said 'In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and into the hole he goes.'
I had some cod for dinner once, and it was horrible. It was the piece of cod which passeth understanding.
These are great!
I loved the bit in Good Girl where the shop assistant says "F*** you" instead of "Thank you" to the customer.
There are various versions of the 'London Prayer' which go something like:
Our FarndonWhich aren't in HendonHarrow be thy nameThy KensingtonThy WimbledonIn Erith, as it is in CroydonGive us this day our LeatherheadAnd forgive us our by-passesAs we forgive those who by-pass against usAnd lead us not in to Thames DittonFor thine is the KingstonThe Tower and the PurleyFor Esher and EsherBig Ben