Feeling So Low

I'm new on here but I'm listening too. I don't think any doctor would intentionall make you feel like you need to cut deeper. I've heard putting your hands in a bucket of ice can be quite painful without harming you. Do you do any sports? Climbing or cycling work wondes for me. Both can be quite solitary if you don't want to be around folks. 

hi joe she didn't encourage me to cut deeper it was just the way she said oh they're only superficial cuts and that started buzzing round my head i wasn't doing it right hence 3 very deep cuts on each arm this morning and a trip to A&E to get them seen to as they wouldn't stop bleeding felt awful for wasting the hospitals time back home now tho

can't do ice as i have reynauds (poor circulation in my hands) ive tried the elastic bands but that's just a fleeting pain cutting means i get to experience a longer pain sensation

I have heard from other people about how poorly A&E staff can react to self-harm. For someone who's had an accident, sure, it's probably nice for them to hear that their injuries aren't so serious, but it's completely the wrong reaction for someone who has injured themself deliberately. A friend's partner who is a nurse has commented how difficult it is for hospital staff to access mental health teams quickly for patients who need them; a quick discharge with instructions to contact your GP etc. is really not good enough.

Try not to feel guilty about going to the hospital (I know that's easier said than done); you are not to blame for the difficulties of autism or for having mental health problems, and you are not to blame for there being too little help to overcome them.

Look after yourself as best you can, and best wishes.

my dad always used to say you don't know a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes i always thought the professionals knew best but you're right only someone who suffers knows the true extent

thank you for all your wise advice trog

That's very kind of you to say, thankyou. If I do know more, then it's because I've had some good therapy, and, mostly, because I've been hanging around on forums like this one ever since my diagnosis (about 4 years now.) The professionals concentrate on the autistic behaviour that you can see from outside too much, and usually only the things that are useful for diagnosis or practical support. Only people who've lived the experience really know just how far and wide the effects go, and what it feels like from the inside. I'm very thankful for the many generous people here and elsewhere who've taught me what I know; I'd still be just as confused as on my diagnosis day if it weren't for them.

A lot of autistic behaviours can sometimes look like other, more common, things; so professionals who are more used to dealing with those things can make the wrong assumptions (I was told I only had depression and GAD for nearly 30 years, by more professionals than I care to count.) It's not so much that your social worker is a bad one, just that he's unlikely to understand autism deeply enough. The mark of a good worker is that they'll take your opinions into account when making a plan; it should be you who decides what problems are the highest priority. It's OK for him to help you with that decision, but not to ignore your wishes.

wow i wish you were my care worker you've said more sense in 1 paragraph than he has in 2 years you sound like you have a great knowledge of mental heath that makes perfect sense

Then your social worker should reconsider that plan. If you are self-harming, then dealing with your anxieties and childhood traumas should not be conditional on taking other therapies; you need help with those regardless of what other interventions might be useful.

It sounds like your social worker might have a common misconception. Our sensory and social difficulties are neurological; if being around other people more was all we needed, most of us wouldn't have these problems in the first place. They can't be treated as a purely psychological thing like a phobia, that will just go away through exposure therapy.  No matter how much practice we get or what we are taught, these skills will never be an instinct or intuition like they are for other people; they'll always take more effort, and we will need to use anxiety management skills to deal with them for the rest of our lives. The counselling could help you with those anxiety management skills, and so it may be essential that the counselling comes first, otherwise group therapy might do no good because you're too stressed out to benefit from it.

i see my care worker at home but he wants me to join social groups before he puts me forward for counselling

i see my care worker at home but he wants me to join social groups before he puts me forward for counselling

my dad always used to say you don't know a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes i always thought the professionals knew best but you're right only someone who suffers knows the true extent

thank you for all your wise advice trog

That's very kind of you to say, thankyou. If I do know more, then it's because I've had some good therapy, and, mostly, because I've been hanging around on forums like this one ever since my diagnosis (about 4 years now.) The professionals concentrate on the autistic behaviour that you can see from outside too much, and usually only the things that are useful for diagnosis or practical support. Only people who've lived the experience really know just how far and wide the effects go, and what it feels like from the inside. I'm very thankful for the many generous people here and elsewhere who've taught me what I know; I'd still be just as confused as on my diagnosis day if it weren't for them.

A lot of autistic behaviours can sometimes look like other, more common, things; so professionals who are more used to dealing with those things can make the wrong assumptions (I was told I only had depression and GAD for nearly 30 years, by more professionals than I care to count.) It's not so much that your social worker is a bad one, just that he's unlikely to understand autism deeply enough. The mark of a good worker is that they'll take your opinions into account when making a plan; it should be you who decides what problems are the highest priority. It's OK for him to help you with that decision, but not to ignore your wishes.

wow i wish you were my care worker you've said more sense in 1 paragraph than he has in 2 years you sound like you have a great knowledge of mental heath that makes perfect sense

Then your social worker should reconsider that plan. If you are self-harming, then dealing with your anxieties and childhood traumas should not be conditional on taking other therapies; you need help with those regardless of what other interventions might be useful.

It sounds like your social worker might have a common misconception. Our sensory and social difficulties are neurological; if being around other people more was all we needed, most of us wouldn't have these problems in the first place. They can't be treated as a purely psychological thing like a phobia, that will just go away through exposure therapy.  No matter how much practice we get or what we are taught, these skills will never be an instinct or intuition like they are for other people; they'll always take more effort, and we will need to use anxiety management skills to deal with them for the rest of our lives. The counselling could help you with those anxiety management skills, and so it may be essential that the counselling comes first, otherwise group therapy might do no good because you're too stressed out to benefit from it.