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Feeling So Low

Giddy

I hardly slept last night after yesterdays horrible experience being told to stop stimming i ended up at hospital after self harming my arms are a mess of scars and fresh cuts but the doctor said they're superficial lacerations ( which according to google are descibed as paper cuts ) which i hardly think covers my cuts as i have very little sensation left now but also she made me feel like im failing at cutting properly and i now have the urge to cut deeper im just exhausted and empty inside, what's the point not sure why im writing on here nobody seems to take much notice of me anyway

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  • I'm new on here but I'm listening too. I don't think any doctor would intentionall make you feel like you need to cut deeper. I've heard putting your hands in a bucket of ice can be quite painful without harming you. Do you do any sports? Climbing or cycling work wondes for me. Both can be quite solitary if you don't want to be around folks. 

  • in reply to JoeChip

    hi joe she didn't encourage me to cut deeper it was just the way she said oh they're only superficial cuts and that started buzzing round my head i wasn't doing it right hence 3 very deep cuts on each arm this morning and a trip to A&E to get them seen to as they wouldn't stop bleeding felt awful for wasting the hospitals time back home now tho

    can't do ice as i have reynauds (poor circulation in my hands) ive tried the elastic bands but that's just a fleeting pain cutting means i get to experience a longer pain sensation

  • in reply to Giddy

    I have heard from other people about how poorly A&E staff can react to self-harm. For someone who's had an accident, sure, it's probably nice for them to hear that their injuries aren't so serious, but it's completely the wrong reaction for someone who has injured themself deliberately. A friend's partner who is a nurse has commented how difficult it is for hospital staff to access mental health teams quickly for patients who need them; a quick discharge with instructions to contact your GP etc. is really not good enough.

    Try not to feel guilty about going to the hospital (I know that's easier said than done); you are not to blame for the difficulties of autism or for having mental health problems, and you are not to blame for there being too little help to overcome them.

    Look after yourself as best you can, and best wishes.

  • in reply to Trogluddite

    my dad always used to say you don't know a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes i always thought the professionals knew best but you're right only someone who suffers knows the true extent

    thank you for all your wise advice trog

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