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just been diagnosed but what now?

loulabelle42
over 5 years ago

Hi all, 

so today isn't a good day for my family! ( ok more so me ) last Tuesday we had a verbal diagnoses that my 15 year old daughter is on the spectrum but we would still have to wait for the formal diagnoses which is starting to feel like a eternity. 

The paediatrician that we saw said quite openly to my daughter that being autistic isn't a bad thing and that she should be more open about the whole thing and tell people she is autistic, we have always known there was something not fitting well with our daughter but because she is also a very behind academically we have constantly been battling with school and doctors who have also maintained its just down to her learning because she is quiet in school and like Satan when she gets home!!

so back to today, i have been doing her room out for her the way she wanted it ( advise from the ot ) and i went off with a million questions about anything and everything to find my daughter stood behind me crying because she felt pressure .

I understand i should be giving clear instructions etc but i am also starting to feel she isn't coping well with what her doctor said to her. i think we are both a little lost in the system that we know nothing about.

Should i be helping my daughter get her head around all of this or is this something she will deal with in her own time?  That being said my daughter also will not leave the house unless we make plans as a family. Any suggestions would be so gratefully appreciated 

Parents
  • over 5 years ago
    loulabelle42 said:
    Should i be helping my daughter get her head around all of this or is this something she will deal with in her own time? 

    Let her know that you are there for her and love her. She needs the time and space to process it all in a supportive place.. it’s a massive thing to comes to terms with and not in a negative way...

    is you sorting her room an issue? Could it be construed as making allowances for her because of her autism... I.e starting to treat her differently? Or just a general teenage daughter thing of expressing her independence and selfhood in an environment that she’s had agency in? 

    Being 15 can be socially challenging on its own right. Let her know you want to talk and support whenever she needs you. 

Reply
  • over 5 years ago
    loulabelle42 said:
    Should i be helping my daughter get her head around all of this or is this something she will deal with in her own time? 

    Let her know that you are there for her and love her. She needs the time and space to process it all in a supportive place.. it’s a massive thing to comes to terms with and not in a negative way...

    is you sorting her room an issue? Could it be construed as making allowances for her because of her autism... I.e starting to treat her differently? Or just a general teenage daughter thing of expressing her independence and selfhood in an environment that she’s had agency in? 

    Being 15 can be socially challenging on its own right. Let her know you want to talk and support whenever she needs you. 

Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to .

    Thank you very much for your advice, i thought by me helping her she wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by doing everything herself but then again she would be quite happy with living in a pig sty ( that's definately a teenage thing i am sure ) 

    i guess i am just feeling overwhelmed for her really. i know i shouldnt treat her any different but has a parent you do not really want your child to NOT COPE and i guess the reality is i am not coping. apart from all the research and books i've read in the last few days i dont know what else to do