These are not all original t o me but here goes ....
In the supermarket they sell bottles of liquid labelled "Still water". At what stage will it cease to still be water.
And talking of water, one brand says it has percolated and been filtered through rock for thousands oof years before being bottled. Good job they bottled it when they did as its best before date is only in a months time.
What does an occasional table become when it is not a table.
Who did the first person who bought a telephone want to ring?
Where did the first person who bought a car buy petrol from? Or who did the first filling station sell petrol to?
How many people died eating poisonous mushrooms and berries before they knew which ones were ok to eat?
There are many more, so what are other contributors favourites?
I keep seeing these signs around about 'on cameras'. Any idea what they are? And how do you smile them?
Also... what could look less like it's able to skip than a skip?
Do you ever actually hear anyone in a coffee shop ask for a 'regular' coffee? Does it mean they go there every day?
Or is it anything to do with a 'flat white' I hear about? If it's not flat, it's not regular?
Have they stopped putting use-by dates on salt containers and vinegar bottles after someone pointed out that they're used for preserving things?
Pretty sure I don't have an 'on camera', so couldn't smile it anyway.
If it's asking me to smile, someone's going to be disappointed and is lucky I don't get violent.
I remember at school asking what I should do next. I was told to sit down for the present. I sat down but did not get a present ...
It says, fresh fruit from South Africa, I’m in Hampshire. ?
Tick this box, it’s not a box it’s a square.
Organic honey, what’s inorganic honey?
How can you wash something whiter than white?
Have the correct change ready. They’re supposed to give me the change.
‘Just like mom made.’ I don’t know their mom.
Go to work on an egg. ?
The future is orange. ?
Let’s go out for a romantic dinner = you’re paying.
‘Don’t disappear when we get there.’ Is there a wormhole there?
‘I really like these shoes - but they’re killing me.’ ?
‘Her hair came out of a bottle’ Hair doesn’t come in bottles.
‘You’ve shrunk my favourite top.’ No I didn’t, the washing machine did.
‘Why is there a chainsaw on the kitchen table?’ Obviously because I’m servicing it.
I've got a packet of cooking salt that says 'Best Before 19th March 3019'.
At least, it does now that I've altered it...
I always thought 'The future's bright, the future's Orange' was some kind of propaganda campaign by a militant Irish loyalist organisation.
'We're looking to expand into overseas markets going forward.'
Which other way can you go when speaking about future plans?
'Contains nuts' on peanut butter.