Published on 12, July, 2020
These are not all original t o me but here goes ....
In the supermarket they sell bottles of liquid labelled "Still water". At what stage will it cease to still be water.
And talking of water, one brand says it has percolated and been filtered through rock for thousands oof years before being bottled. Good job they bottled it when they did as its best before date is only in a months time.
What does an occasional table become when it is not a table.
Who did the first person who bought a telephone want to ring?
Where did the first person who bought a car buy petrol from? Or who did the first filling station sell petrol to?
How many people died eating poisonous mushrooms and berries before they knew which ones were ok to eat?
There are many more, so what are other contributors favourites?
This is a Five Month Old Thread... but it is one of my favourites of 2018 (After the 'Did anything good happen today? Threads.)...
Waaay up near the start, I mentioned the TV Channel "Dave". Here, now, is my current list of what they put n there, in similar humour to this Thread...
This is a Five Month Old Thread... but it is one of my own favourites of 2018 (After the 'Did anything good happen today? Threads.)... and so I still think about it from time to time. Why did it end...?!
--- Anyway, Waaay up near the start, I mentioned the TV Channel "Dave". Here, now, is my current list of what they put on there, in similar humour to this Thread.
DAVE Quotes. (Maybe inexact in punctuation or wording... but please do have many "groans" or 'eye-rolling' ready in advance...)
Everyday you forget which direction the Sun rises. But then it dawns on you.
Afraid of Hurdles? Get over it.
If you want to start up a Company and run it, then that's your own Business.
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If you rearrange the Letters in "Royal Mail", you'll get them annoyed at you.
Are you still watching? Tick: Yes / No.
...Ad Break Buffering / Loading...
Do Chickens use Fowl Language?
Irony. Is the opposite of Crease-y.
Toasters were originally called "Tanning Breads".
When you get your first job as a Bouncer, it's a foot in the door.
Zebras look just like zebra crossings - How much of a coincidence is that?
Do lumberjacks keep a Log Book?
Rock and Roll would make terrible foundations for a whole City.
If you don't like the new plastic Notes, it's time for a change.
We've been accused of plagiarism. Their words, not ours.
If you're watching this on CatchUp TV, then what's the future like?
(...With regards to the Channel being called "Dave", they ask: How come no-one has ever named their Child "Award Winning Comedy Channel"? ...and they claim: Price guarantee. Cheaper than other TV channels called 'Dave'.)
End of My list of Quotes! More will occur, from them, of course, in due course....But I wanted to say that this is(/was) one of the best Threads of 2018, and anyone looking for some relief or laughter, do read through the whole Thread with pictures, Please. And Happy New Year from myself. (Chinese Year of the Boar, upcoming!)...
This is a very funny thread indeed and brought much needed smiles (I have been helping my husband edit a job application and it has made my head hurt).
I am very glad that you revived this thread as I think it was before my time. Sometimes I search back through old threads as there are some treasures like this to be found!