Random thoughts from home

S'mores from myself, here...

Smart Casual - Clothing which has at least one PHD but can be worn by anyone, qualified or not.

Wholemeal Bread - Only if Meat and Vegetables were added to it.

Pasty - When Cooked or Toasted, the complexion is no longer so pale, else it should be renamed a "Tanned" Pasty.

Coated Fish - I am just glad that they are not wearing coats made of Nylon or Polyester.

Finger food, Fish Fingers, Ladies' Fingers - ...a bit obvious, these ones ...!

Crisp or Light... Drinks - If a liquid is crunchy, then it is not a liquid. Also, Light means nothing if one checks the Weight or Serving - A Litre of a "Light" drink is just as heavy to me as a Litre of anything else.

NUTTY. - This is in capitals since, watch out, this is my taking the opportunity to "rant" a little! This really annoys me, that whenever something cannot be described, even by experts, they say that it has a "nutty" taste. Wines and Foreign Foods (to the East) are usually targeted for this. Squid is "nutty". Sherry is "nutty". Shark Meat is "nutty". Watch any T.V. Programme where they are doing a food-tasting, and see how much the word "nutty" is used. (It registers as bland but must be described anyway... so it has a "nutty" taste? Eat less pungent foods, I say!)

...End of Rant. Please no jokes about this Post being "nutty", though, Thanks...    ;-)  

Sometimes phrases can be arranged in such a way as they are totally ambiguous, and can be construed (especially to an Aspie like me!) to mean the complete opposite of that intended.

I've heard people say things like "We can't have too many ...." which depending how it is interpreted could mean that "We don't want any more" or "We have an insatiable need".

Another example I noticed in the 'Terms and  Conditions" of the Snowdon Mountain Railway (yes, I am one of those souls who does read such notices .. or is it that certain things stand out?) which says "The train will only depart with fewer than nine passengers at the discretion of the guard'.  I immediately interpreted this as saying that if the train had more than nine passengers the guard could insist it did not depart, and thought it was a strange thing to say.   It took a long time to realise that it really meant that the train would not depart with fewer than nine passengers if the guard did not feel it was in the interests of the company.

One of the pleasures of being autistic!

Some things are described in pairs:  A pair of trousers, or a pair of scissors.  What does one trouser or one scissor look like? (When I was at school we also had a 'pair of compasses' but that seems these days to have transmogrified into a 'compass')  We also had a 'pair of dividers' so what did one divider look like in this case.

I also remember being told I was 'next to an idiot'.  I didn't think this was a polite way to talk of my friend.

Also, in places that provide accommodation for eating food, it often says 'customers must not eat their own food'.  I don't think a customer would appreciate me going and taking their food ...

"Man-size tissues". You get them out of the box, and they're definitely not.

Reminds me that I've also been puzzling for decades over an advertisement for 'personal sized pizza'. It seems the first word must be modifying the second, but it's an adjective, not an adverb. 'Personally-sized' pizza would be sized for you by a person, but I don't think it's that. To make it grammatical it should probably be 'person-sized pizza'.

I'm infuriated by people on escalators not attending to the rule 'dogs must be carried'. Almost no one using the escalator is carrying a dog.

What's the opposite of 'visible'? What's the opposite of 'flammable'?

Fireworks giving financial advice: 'light blue touchpaper and retire immediately.' Or there were some instructions on food labelling about 'stand upright in boiling water'.

Going more extreme, am I the only one who when facing an ordinary sink, with taps marked in red and blue, is disappointed that they don't dispense red and blue water?

Denis Norden complained on Radio 4 of suffering 'literalism'. Somewhere in the archive there must be dozens of things like the headline 'police seek three armed men' or

He tells of being on the fifth floor of a department store and feeling the call of nature. Locating the loo, he was shocked to see a sign there with an arrow pointing downward and reading 'Out of order. Use floor below.'

Another time, he recalled seeing what he described as most disturbing signage in a do-it-yourself home improvement store. Affixed to a wooden cabinet of considerable size, it read “Put this up yourself!”

Misheard Lyrics said:

That couldn't possibly be the real reason for adding the water, could it? :-(

...Yes.

Same as adding Fat to Pork, and Sugar to everything else. Ever noticed how, when Water/Fat/Sugar is added to something then the Price of it is cheaper? "Reformed" Meat is the absolute worst...

...As if back to the main topic - "Reformed" Meat may suggest that it has spent some time in a correctional facillity having had Water added in order to make it less likely to go out and steal money from banks or wallets anymore... which is why it is cheaper to buy.

"Fortified" Foods are those which have had something added in order to make them stronger against being rinsed off easily once they have decided to dry onto your cutlery  harder than concrete. (I mentioned that upon another Thread.)

"Unsweetened" Foods are those which charming and congenial people cannot tolerate, (like Raw Vegetables,) which is why they are not as popular to the masses, and not so much used as Party Food due to not being sweet and/or "nice" to everyone there.

(I would post more, but I must end this post or else it may disappear...!)

Supermarket meat (especially chicken) often has added water "for extra Succulence." Not only does it make a grotty, milky residue in the pan, but it means you get effectively less meat because it's sold by weight.

That couldn't possibly be the real reason for adding the water, could it? :-(

Cassandro said:

Have they stopped putting use by dates on salt containers and vinegar bottles after someone pointed out that they're used for preserving things?

That might depend upon the material the bottle is made from. 

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/mar/15/microplastics-found-in-more-than-90-of-bottled-water-study-says

http://mentalfloss.com/article/22098/why-does-bottled-water-have-expiration-date

Maybe drinking the coffee keeps them regular?

Perhaps after drinking it they have to "go" there every day?

I remember at school asking what I should do next.  I was told to sit down for the present. I sat down but did not get a present ...

Do you ever actually hear anyone in a coffee shop ask for a 'regular' coffee? Does it mean they go there every day?

Or is it anything to do with a 'flat white' I hear about? If it's not flat, it's not regular?

Have they stopped putting use-by dates on salt containers and vinegar bottles after someone pointed out that they're used for preserving things?