Roller coaster

It’s good to have these studies with links in the one place.  

Thanks.

I feel all the things you’re feeling. I do want to get diagnosed as autistic, I don’t feel afraid because I feel it really fits who I am. But I also feel I’m not going say things well enough for the assessor to get the information they need, this gives me anxiety. It’s the unknown, it makes us feel so uncomfortable. 

I like your analogy of a “traffic jam” in your brain, but it doesn’t sound nice If others are laughing ‘at you’ rather than ‘with you’.

When I used to have to spend more time in company I used to zone out too. I was aware that I was zoning out but I didn’t realise at the time that others found it weird.

Have you ever told your family members how their laughing makes you feel? Years ago, I wrote a letter to a family member telling them how their behaviour affected me. I felt I got my message across even though they changed their behaviour for the better only for a short while.

I only read part of this review, but seems serious work, I may follow some of the authors.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11065-023-09630-2

(Related to some of Uta Friths claims)

For me it's not masking the most exhausting thing. I'm not good at masking and I'm generally myself, especially if stressed or tired or overwhelmed. Then all my learned skills go away. The everyday life is too much for me. Once I may seem fine, few hours later I struggle to answer a simple question, that causes me a traffic jam in my brain. Usually it makes others laugh. It's like old machine with rotting gears struggling to move, so it takes me a minute or two to receive the question "are you hungry?" Then I have to check if I'm hungry. I visualise it like asking my stomach: "hey, are you hungry?". Then I decide and give the answer. But sometimes this question is kind of reminder to me, that I am actually hungry but didn't realise it till someone asked. My family members find it funny and I'm their entertainment. It makes me little sad, that nobody takes me seriously. Plus if there is longer chat going on around me, I feel my brain shaking and as I coping mechanism (probably) pace out. Pick one thought from my shelf and replay it chain and again.

So sometimes I may seem fine, other time it's visible that im not fine. People aldo find my wide stary eyes funny- also when tired.

Your roller coaster thoughts about diagnosis are common. I experienced a lot of “should I/shouldn’t I” thoughts and “what ifs” as I approached my diagnosis, although I did eventually make peace with my decision to go ahead.

I saw last week’s New Scientist article by Uta Frith which may be of similar content to the video you saw. I don’t agree with much of what she says but I do think it has been obvious for years that there would be a variation between autistic people with high support needs and autistic people with low support needs, many of whom would have received a diagnosis of Asperger’s under the old system. At the same time, because the different support needs aren’t on a linear scale, autism profiles are limited, so I’m not sure how that can be resolved, but it certainly shouldn’t be resolved by dismissal of the needs of those who struggle ‘just a little’, keeping in mind that their masking would be disregarded.

Frith’s dismissal of masking is hard to take, given the abundance of evidence that testifies to its cost to autistic people. Many autism experts disagree with her on this. Thank goodness Frith doesn’t have the last word.

I had one psychiatrist laughing me out because of my symptoms.  She said, yeah it's the popular diagnosis, now everyone gets tested for autism and adhd. It was before I had the therapy with my current therapist,  which I'm happy with. That psychiatrist is just an example,  that absolutely not all doctors take patients seriously

Professionals should take you seriously. People don't normally go through this process for no reason. The fact you are so worried suggests it is not nothing. They will see this.

If the diagnosis is from a professional, others should take it into consideration.

Thank you for your response.

I also concentrate on providing evidence. I know I'm struggling, so if the struggles name is not autism, then I wanna know shay instead. 

Thank you for your answer. I'm not sure if it would help in contact with mental health professionals in the future because they may not take this diagnosis seriously, or me seriously. 

I will try not to worry. The diagnosis brings clarity so it serves its medical purpose.

Firstly, ignore comments about over diagnosis. Even if there is some, there is no reason to think it applies to you.

In many cases there is little to no state provided support for adults, so why would people be against people being diagnosed. Particularly since it can provide validation and clarity that can help people's mental health. This is a positive thing that is worth  knowing. It can help reduce the worst effects such as burn out, and depression, etc.

You don't have to tell anyone. This is information for you. It helps you to understand yourself.

What you are primarily anxious about is the uncertainty. Not knowing what to expect, what the result will be, how to react, is stressful.

There may also be a strong feeling based on fear of rejection. This is based more on you background. I had this. It is not a test that you have to pass, although it feels like it. If you don't pass then you don't understand what is up with you.

Feeling uncertain, flipping between views is not surprising.

Try not to worry too much. It will go fine.

It can help inform you future course. It will help with any psychologist or psychiatrist sessions in the future.

I plan to simply present all evidence. Then the process is off my hands.

My role / part as the "assessed" is to just collect what seems essential about personal history, personality traits and struggles and, then, any outcome will be okay.

I also collected my parents' views and they seem far off mine but I still will present their view there untouched.

Even though I or my psychologist are convinced of being autistic, I think I need to trust the experts' judgement.

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This is a bit unrelated but I was just thinking of searching about the "Confusion matrix" (includes wrong and correct assessments).

I didn't know the person you mention but did read her article: https://www.tes.com/magazine/teaching-learning/general/uta-frith-interview-autism-not-spectrum.

Another one is (2023): https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1111/jcpp.13806 but from a different author.

Dear Alien0n3arth,

Thank you for your post. Reaching out is very brave and your feelings are completely understandable. You have done the hard part by seeking the assessment. I am sure our wonderful community will be able to offer some advice. In the meantime I can signpost you to the advice and guidance page on diagnosis which may help.

Please find the link here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis

With best wishes and lots of luck for your assessment.

Anna Mod