Anyone feel like a burden sometimes?

I feel a lot of the time like nobody understands me. I hate the disconnect between knowing something shouldn’t bother me vs me being upset about it still. It’s like I do a meta analysis on myself while angry trying to regulate myself real time and I feel like people don’t understand how much work it is to actually do

I often feel like a burden and feel guilty for that. I'm too absent, but trying to be present around those, who need me is not working. I often feel a need to apologise for being myself or need to ask if I disturb others, if others hate me etc. I stop myself from asking such questions at work. I know logically,  that it would be seen as annoying. I wondered many times, who I would be if I was like others. 

All the time, honestly. I always feel like I'm getting in the way whenever I'm around other people, so it makes me want to shrink down and hide away

My family member usually over orders on the food delivery and forgotten what they've ordered.

Usually ask me what, I would like and give them a list. 

I'd asked for wolfys/own brand porridge pots, plain honey or strawberry.

Asked either apple, strawberry or lemon soreen malt mini loaves and gave me 3 packets (I'd asked for one packet);

I don't like parsnips, broad beans and rye bread. 

Suggested to them to do a stock take on everything. 

I know how you sometimes, for me it's mainly if and when my dad comes home from work and he's exhausted but says he has to work as hard to provide for us, which makes me guilty and wish I had enough money to move out. 

Or times when I have ask my parents for a lift because I can't drive due to my difficulties... so I rather take the bus most of the time to spare them the trouble

So I understand that feeling sometimes

I think you may be overthinking which is common. I do a lot. 

I really wish you well. And hope to see you more on the.forum. 

I've spoken to my dad and he says I'm not a burden and they like looking after me

I do the shopping with my dad already, haven't thought about having a list with my things on and helping it separate though - will suggest it to him!

I try to not impact them to much by staying in my room and doing things, apart from jigsaws which I need to do in the dining room table as my desk isn't big enough

I would have a place of my own, but house prices are ridiculous plus I don't earn much money 

Even though I have my own room it's getting rather small for what I have (mainly the amount of books!) 

It doesn’t sound like you are a burden if your Dad is good at getting you food you prefer. At least to me. Bu5 I can understand how easy it is to get that impression. I’ve had a lot of feelings that I’m a burden because my mental health can be quite unstable. I can be great one minute, plans go ahead, something no on3 else notices triggers me and I want to go home (tho I don’t I suffer with it and expose thar to others!).

in many way# children are meant to be a “burden”. I mean parents go into it knowing it’s challenging, costly, limits them, is a life long commitment even when society expects the child to be self-supporting and independent. I understand some conditions and situations make that responsibility much bigger. But in the scale of things what you describe is nit a huge burden. Think of parents of children with major medical issues, or who for whatever reason have gotten involved with crime or drugs. That doesn’t sound like yoU honestly.

I’m not trying to minimise how you may feel. Those of us with autism can overthink and be over critical of ourselves.

have you spoken to them about these things? If you choose to maybe take an approach that you are concerned for them and maybe want to take some independence? Like getting a shopping list of things you like fi4 them. Maybe going shopping with them, if that something you can effectively manage, and get tg3 items out them in the shopping basket. It’s about little things that maybe say, I can take this bit off your plate.

I also live with my parents and can relate to the feeling of being a burden. It often feels like my need for routine greatly impacts their daily living and creates tension in the house.

I know in the grand scheme of things that we do all really care for each other and are just doing our best to live with each other as well as possible given the circumstances and what we all need, so I try to keep that in mind

I don't think younger people have any choice these days?  I was looking at an article today saying 1 in 3 men 20-35 are living at home, and 22% of women, and this is everyone. I bet if you look at the numbers who are autistic it's even higher. 

With prices rising even more and more steeply recently, I do feel for people who are completely unable to leave home. It must be very hard, but it's a new era when having your own space doesn't always seem possible. 

My daughter has said since she was tiny, she plans to never move out and we can live next door.️ I think she's allowing her brother to keep his room. 

Maybe we'll get the spare room! I think she still plans for us to do all the jobs for her, but then she is only 9!