maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

Phased said:

This is an enormous stressor to most people and I found that being autistic it created an almost unbearable tension regarding the futility of how one is spending one's efforts and ultimately one's life.

That’s the sad thing and it’s how it goes for so many of us. I don’t know how I got through my working life and the pupils at the school deserved better. I don’t think some of the staff really cared. I had periods of burnout throughout employment and ended up not managing to continue working. 

Phased said:

I suspect that both you and I could give suggestions...

Oh yes, where do I start! My suggestion, and perhaps yours, would be more a psychological thriller.

The external assessor had time to reflect too perhaps.

This might be that the supervisor concerned had different memories about what they learned the job should be.

However I doubt it.  Instead they where employing a similar rationale for many of the extraordinary inconsistencies in expectation versus capability and downright lying that goes about it in a working environment.

I have regularly had to work in circumstances where the expected professional standards are not reasonably possible to achieve given the time and resources available.

This is an enormous stressor to most people and I found that being autistic it created an almost unbearable tension regarding the futility of how one is spending one's efforts and ultimately one's life.

Raising attention to it upsets people (most curiously especially those in charge) even though the problem needs to be attended to in order for the reason for working in terms of quality of output fundamentally relies upon it.

There is a very unhealthy elephant in the room amongst staff that is generally not talked about.

Fear is used as a control mechanism.

One is expected to "put up and shut up".

I and I suspect you are by our nature inclined to the child that points out that the emperor is not wearing any clothes.  The story doesn't go on to tell what happened to the child.,,

I suspect that both you and I could give suggestions...

I don’t know if the experience I am recalling will be what you had in mind, but it is something that had a lasting impact on me and I remember it in detail. 

Years ago when I was a student teacher, I was on a teaching practice placement where the teacher who was responsible for my placement made life difficult for me from the start. It was his job to give me the subject syllabus and schemes of work so that I could plan the lessons accordingly.  This teacher was reluctant to let me see the schemes of work even though it was his responsibility, so I had to ask for them from the Head of Department, which wasn’t difficult, but I shouldn’t  have had to do that. Every week I had the upcoming week’s lessons planned by Monday morning, according to the Scheme of Work. One day, this teacher met me coming up the stairs when he stopped to tell me that he wanted me to teach something other than what I had meticulously planned for that afternoon. I told him I had already planned my lesson and that I had no free time to plan a completely random topic that wasn’t due to be delivered until the following term. I suggested that I could teach it the lesson after next, but he was insistent it had to be done that afternoon. I knew this was unfair because all lessons should be planned and this is what teachers spend much of their time doing, although experienced teachers have much of the content and material to hand or in their head so they can quickly draft a plan in an emergency. This happened again…then stopped for a while…then recurred…and again. The teacher accused me of “not being capable of teaching because other teachers have to deliver lessons without warning”. I was shocked at this and tried to stick up for myself. Mentally I struggled, perhaps I should have these things in my head ready to rattle out? Perhaps I am not capable of being a teacher? I knew my subject inside out, but putting it into an appropriate lesson that engages and stretches young minds is a different matter, and it was a skill that I was still working on over most  evenings and weekends. 

I informed the Head of Department and she took charge of my placement from then on in that school, but nothing more was said about the matter. As planned, I left the school a few weeks later, with that feeling of failure hanging over me, mostly because I felt unable to deliver a lesson that I hadn’t spent time planning. A year on I heard that the teacher had been sacked some months earlier, but I didn’t know the circumstances. There were lots of other occasions where things happened at this school that made me feel sad and incapable 

I met my old external assessor about 12 years after leaving that school. He reminisced over my time at the school and told me that Ihad been badly treated there and that he had felt bad about the bullying I had received. This was the first time I had heard this mentioned. I had never accused them of bullying, and the school management, my college and my assessor have never mentioned or apologised for bad treatment or bullying. 

That's given me something to think about Chris  

Thanks :-)

Fawn Stress Response, and Monotropic Split that’s how they get you stay in control don’t let anyone take advantage of you, stop people pleasing and be yourself 

Honestly, I think it's an epidemic!

I blooming well hope not!! lol! I might not be the brains of britain but I know when someone is trying to trick people. Say these people who gaslighted me never believed in vaccines but I bet if it wasn’t a jab form they’d have it. 

Sounds like an **** too. It's okay, it's not contagious. I think.

 if there is a vaccine for being an a*** then that will defo help but I bet these people will be too stubborn to have the jab or whatever form it comes in. 

Well put it this way, my autisticness as been beneficial as I have been able to see through people like this shop manager or aunty etc, but it takes me forever to convince others and they always think I’m losing it until these horrible ones show their true colours! I mean I’ve even been gaslighted for having a gaming addiction because this lad on a course said he had one and then he said I have one.

Do you think they'll find a cure for it? Maybe it's related to not getting vaccinated?

I think it's much better being autistic.

Comfy is best! And I think that is a really common condition your manager has called being an a***.
I hear it's incurable. So sad.

I always wear baggier clothing because I’m so self conscious of clingy clothes, plush I hate the feel of the clinginess anyway! I don’t like to wear anything low cut or dresses either because of this shop manager always look up or down my dress. Then when I worse the baggier stuff he complained saying I look frumpy but he complained saying I looked a tart wearing a knee high dress with a somewhat scoop neck and I needed to cover my unsightly legs and body. So much for getting fit, I thought I was getting in good shape. 

That sounds like a good developmental curve along side walking/running.
My second child learnt to communicate with her older brother(3) at 6 months by discovering when she screamed, he would, and they would both then have fits of giggles. 

I think the world has some sort of psychosis, that because we might not be interested in 'beauty' and 'fashion' as women, we are somehow faulty. I didn't have girls clothes till I went to Uni and I think that was masking. Now I have 'female' cuts of clothes, but they have bird species etc. I have one with different moths including a cinnabar.

Rant away!  Not harming anyone as far as I can tell :-)

When I got really good at shouting I also found I got really good at speaking calmly too :-)

Oh don't, I think it's cathertic to rant. It's been making me feel better certainly!

Ugh I have had too much gaslighting over the years! I’ve been told by so many people I’m not as happy as I think, if I’m happy why should I be because it’s not as if I’m rich unlike the Fing kardashians or these people who boast their lives of luxury over social media or whatever. If I was nice looking how come I’ve never been on a date? How come no company has approached me? Etc etc! If I say I don’t find someone attractive, then apparently I do think their attractive but I’m too jealous to admit it and they have hot girlfriends or wives that I deep down aspire to look like. Now I can’t think of these people as gormless because apparently I’m the gormless ugly fat one (sorry I’m ranting again). My mum always used to pass comment on how I always looked like some sort of goddess character and how many people have said that I am apparently stunning but apparently those people who have said nice things have just said that to make me feel better but are lying to me. These horrible gaslighters said I look nothing like all these characters or that because I’m fatter and uglier, flatter chested, thin lips etc and all these ones I’m jealous of are like the beautiful characters and goddesses etc. but those people have had work done to them but I’ve been told they haven’t and they are blessed with beauty. Even if I had work done to myself I would look awful compared to other who would have work done. Sorry for my rant and forgive me if I’ve made anyone feel uncomfortable, I can have this removed if needed.