maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

I think NT's use emotion as a lossy-compression for events. They can't get anywhere close to remembering the actual details, but will infer them from how they felt about the event, which they'll hold onto with crystal clarity for decades.

Yeh they'll just assume this and that and not really take how you feel on board or try and help you. Makes me sad  

You’re right on it, they hate to look bad:)! The whole thing is a house of cards a lot of people have not been working hard.

If you scale up the incompetence through its obvious big companies have actually been failing, this is what I reported to Hmrc two years ago and they refunded several year of pension. They never told me what happened with the employers though. I knew they were breaking the law both in their treatment and not paying me correctly.

I have to sleep but I have a list of things to look out for I will post at some point.

nice to chat Cinnabar

I figure that what you are saying is that people have conspired against you pietro_21  

I too have had this sense.

The tricky thing is as you suggest it is hard to prove their complicity.

It's also hard to know if one is being paranoid,or  gaslighted as being autistic potentially one might not have the tools to know it is taking place!!

I suspect it is simple prejudice rather than a deliberate personal vendetta with me.  I haven't been that nasty to people (as far as I'm aware!)

I  have been enough of a thorn in the side of plenty of neurotypical people by the nature if my not reining myself in when I see something that I think is wrong or unfair.  So I could be a potentially be a target of conspiracy.  Hehe - how would I know none of them talk to me openly anyway because I don't/can't play the game the way they want/expect me to.

Also I know I've said things, say things that people have been offended by (that I only realise to have bee the case when I see their side of it after the fact)

If I go with the widely promoted model of autism challenges with communication, sensory overload, and social understanding are leading me to feelings of confusion or fear.

Or as you say most neurotypicals are all in it together colluding to be mediocre and watching society and the planet go to hell in a handcart and consider autistic people like me an annoyance and a nuisance...

I think being confused so much really helps us be clever!  

Well done on your achievements and as the dog Latin puts it "Non Illigitimi Carborundum!" :-)

Definately, I think if you work hard you can be seen as a threat as you show how productive a person can be, which perhaps makes them look bad?

The way I think of it is they share a brain, but are actually unfeeling. Some of these females have zero emotional intelligence. They care a lot about themselves and not others. Being in the workplace is a nightmare, if I behaved that way I would lose my job immediately. 

I am glad you/others see it too. I think mostly what I realised what that whole companies are underperforming because whole offices of people are basically pretending to be professional. This upset me because I always worked hard and did things well, I was basicaly manipulated and negated.

It like a huge wave of defeatism coming at us. 

I think there is something about a certain type of female -they can be particularly nasty to everyone who doesn't pander to them. Pattern recognition can help to see the ones to avoid, but in places like work if it's your manager especially, it can be inescapable I imagine.

I wish it didn't destroy so many lives, some of us are quite happy to do what we want to do without any fuss. I sometimes think it's like it's easy to kick the dog that doesn't bite back.

I have actually been doing some observational research on this, I am quite analytical. 

They prefer to force the situation into what they consider to be their favor as they cannot rationale how internalised nd behaviour is (its illegible to them).

I had an incident on a bus the otherday when I was waiting to get off and a middle aged '' woman was pushing me from behind, as I moved off she deliberately barged past me. I felt she identified that I was nd and did not like it. That kind of hostility is every day at any point. For young nd men/boys its always suprising when mature women do this. If I am completely honest I remember nursery workers and classroom assistants at primary school being verbally vicious. Its inherant and pervasive.

I think its amusing (if I didn't I woulnt be here) because I worked hard all the way through school and work and people were systematically trying to obstruct and mislead me. examples:

• Being told I wouldnt be able to take a levels or ever get to university - I now have a masters degree 
• Being criticised by teachers told I was ugly or stupid
• Having my work sabotaged in the office workplace
• Not being paid by employers (under contract) having cheques bounce, or having my national insurance paid
• Being gaslit by female managers and cooworkers

We all know what they are doing. Entire industries are underperforming at such a mediocre level, and workplaces are complicit. 

I am absolutely clear now people were obstructing me at every level of my education and career. Although I cannot prove there was complicity in each location I know these were not isolated events. The lack of openmindeness they have (like they all share the same brain) I don't let it shock me but it is an injustice when people behave that way and are not reprimanded.

I keep busting into laughter every time I look at your post. 

Absolutely brilliant.

this next reply comes with a warning as it involves cruelty to cats

however this springs to mind based on your reply TheCatWoman 

A study published back in 1970 showed that kittens brought up in a lab with only vertical lines couldn't see horizontal and vice versa.

"Brain development is clearly affected by early experiences and environmental factors rather than just genetics and there is clear evidence of brain plasticity – ‘the visual experience of these animals had modified their brain’ and therefore has serious perceptual consequences. The kittens’ visual cortex adjusts during development as a result of its visual experiences."

Blakemore and Cooper (1970) | Reference Library | Psychology | tutor2u

This sort of thing makes it pretty clear how important early life is for us all.  (although there s plenty of evidence that brain plasticity - literally changing one's mind, in many ways, is possible later on)

Hehe as for the stupid behaviour of those you encounter "I blame the parents" might be pretty close to the mark...

Don't people hate it when you're proved right? I tend to go blundering in where angels fear to tread, naming every elephant in the room, this is one reason why I'd never go into politics, I'm a diplomatic incedent waiting to happen, lol.

One of my standard responses to people who try and tell me I'm autistic because I've been vacinated is, 'yes dear you believe that if it makes you happy'. they usually tell me it dosen't make them happy, to which I respond by telling them to, 'stop believing it then!'. It's either that or find a really stupid question to ask them, like asking someone who believes the earth is flat, how come cats haven't knocked everything off the edge?

I'm afraid that with the terminally stupid I live up to my name and bat them around like a toy mouse, I can't help it, they just need winding up until they go away.

Gosh yes! I remember hearing that one years ago, and it’s true!

Which reminds me of people who drive around in their cars, safely cacooned and seat belts on, while the dog is sitting on the back seat with its head hanging out the window. I keep expecting to see canine heads lying by the side of the motorway. 

"I don’t think some of the staff really cared."

It is a sad truth that some people only care about themselves.

They aren't necessarily malicious but even so they cause damage 

A friend suggested to me that the most useful car safety device for some people would be to fit a dagger facing the driver in the middle of the steering wheel...

Phased said:

This is an enormous stressor to most people and I found that being autistic it created an almost unbearable tension regarding the futility of how one is spending one's efforts and ultimately one's life.

That’s the sad thing and it’s how it goes for so many of us. I don’t know how I got through my working life and the pupils at the school deserved better. I don’t think some of the staff really cared. I had periods of burnout throughout employment and ended up not managing to continue working. 

Phased said:

I suspect that both you and I could give suggestions...

Oh yes, where do I start! My suggestion, and perhaps yours, would be more a psychological thriller.

The external assessor had time to reflect too perhaps.

This might be that the supervisor concerned had different memories about what they learned the job should be.

However I doubt it.  Instead they where employing a similar rationale for many of the extraordinary inconsistencies in expectation versus capability and downright lying that goes about it in a working environment.

I have regularly had to work in circumstances where the expected professional standards are not reasonably possible to achieve given the time and resources available.

This is an enormous stressor to most people and I found that being autistic it created an almost unbearable tension regarding the futility of how one is spending one's efforts and ultimately one's life.

Raising attention to it upsets people (most curiously especially those in charge) even though the problem needs to be attended to in order for the reason for working in terms of quality of output fundamentally relies upon it.

There is a very unhealthy elephant in the room amongst staff that is generally not talked about.

Fear is used as a control mechanism.

One is expected to "put up and shut up".

I and I suspect you are by our nature inclined to the child that points out that the emperor is not wearing any clothes.  The story doesn't go on to tell what happened to the child.,,

I suspect that both you and I could give suggestions...

I don’t know if the experience I am recalling will be what you had in mind, but it is something that had a lasting impact on me and I remember it in detail. 

Years ago when I was a student teacher, I was on a teaching practice placement where the teacher who was responsible for my placement made life difficult for me from the start. It was his job to give me the subject syllabus and schemes of work so that I could plan the lessons accordingly.  This teacher was reluctant to let me see the schemes of work even though it was his responsibility, so I had to ask for them from the Head of Department, which wasn’t difficult, but I shouldn’t  have had to do that. Every week I had the upcoming week’s lessons planned by Monday morning, according to the Scheme of Work. One day, this teacher met me coming up the stairs when he stopped to tell me that he wanted me to teach something other than what I had meticulously planned for that afternoon. I told him I had already planned my lesson and that I had no free time to plan a completely random topic that wasn’t due to be delivered until the following term. I suggested that I could teach it the lesson after next, but he was insistent it had to be done that afternoon. I knew this was unfair because all lessons should be planned and this is what teachers spend much of their time doing, although experienced teachers have much of the content and material to hand or in their head so they can quickly draft a plan in an emergency. This happened again…then stopped for a while…then recurred…and again. The teacher accused me of “not being capable of teaching because other teachers have to deliver lessons without warning”. I was shocked at this and tried to stick up for myself. Mentally I struggled, perhaps I should have these things in my head ready to rattle out? Perhaps I am not capable of being a teacher? I knew my subject inside out, but putting it into an appropriate lesson that engages and stretches young minds is a different matter, and it was a skill that I was still working on over most  evenings and weekends. 

I informed the Head of Department and she took charge of my placement from then on in that school, but nothing more was said about the matter. As planned, I left the school a few weeks later, with that feeling of failure hanging over me, mostly because I felt unable to deliver a lesson that I hadn’t spent time planning. A year on I heard that the teacher had been sacked some months earlier, but I didn’t know the circumstances. There were lots of other occasions where things happened at this school that made me feel sad and incapable 

I met my old external assessor about 12 years after leaving that school. He reminisced over my time at the school and told me that Ihad been badly treated there and that he had felt bad about the bullying I had received. This was the first time I had heard this mentioned. I had never accused them of bullying, and the school management, my college and my assessor have never mentioned or apologised for bad treatment or bullying. 

That's given me something to think about Chris  

Thanks :-)

Fawn Stress Response, and Monotropic Split that’s how they get you stay in control don’t let anyone take advantage of you, stop people pleasing and be yourself 

Honestly, I think it's an epidemic!