maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

I don’t know if the experience I am recalling will be what you had in mind, but it is something that had a lasting impact on me and I remember it in detail. 

Years ago when I was a student teacher, I was on a teaching practice placement where the teacher who was responsible for my placement made life difficult for me from the start. It was his job to give me the subject syllabus and schemes of work so that I could plan the lessons accordingly.  This teacher was reluctant to let me see the schemes of work even though it was his responsibility, so I had to ask for them from the Head of Department, which wasn’t difficult, but I shouldn’t  have had to do that. Every week I had the upcoming week’s lessons planned by Monday morning, according to the Scheme of Work. One day, this teacher met me coming up the stairs when he stopped to tell me that he wanted me to teach something other than what I had meticulously planned for that afternoon. I told him I had already planned my lesson and that I had no free time to plan a completely random topic that wasn’t due to be delivered until the following term. I suggested that I could teach it the lesson after next, but he was insistent it had to be done that afternoon. I knew this was unfair because all lessons should be planned and this is what teachers spend much of their time doing, although experienced teachers have much of the content and material to hand or in their head so they can quickly draft a plan in an emergency. This happened again…then stopped for a while…then recurred…and again. The teacher accused me of “not being capable of teaching because other teachers have to deliver lessons without warning”. I was shocked at this and tried to stick up for myself. Mentally I struggled, perhaps I should have these things in my head ready to rattle out? Perhaps I am not capable of being a teacher? I knew my subject inside out, but putting it into an appropriate lesson that engages and stretches young minds is a different matter, and it was a skill that I was still working on over most  evenings and weekends. 

I informed the Head of Department and she took charge of my placement from then on in that school, but nothing more was said about the matter. As planned, I left the school a few weeks later, with that feeling of failure hanging over me, mostly because I felt unable to deliver a lesson that I hadn’t spent time planning. A year on I heard that the teacher had been sacked some months earlier, but I didn’t know the circumstances. There were lots of other occasions where things happened at this school that made me feel sad and incapable 

I met my old external assessor about 12 years after leaving that school. He reminisced over my time at the school and told me that Ihad been badly treated there and that he had felt bad about the bullying I had received. This was the first time I had heard this mentioned. I had never accused them of bullying, and the school management, my college and my assessor have never mentioned or apologised for bad treatment or bullying. 

I don’t know if the experience I am recalling will be what you had in mind, but it is something that had a lasting impact on me and I remember it in detail. 

Years ago when I was a student teacher, I was on a teaching practice placement where the teacher who was responsible for my placement made life difficult for me from the start. It was his job to give me the subject syllabus and schemes of work so that I could plan the lessons accordingly.  This teacher was reluctant to let me see the schemes of work even though it was his responsibility, so I had to ask for them from the Head of Department, which wasn’t difficult, but I shouldn’t  have had to do that. Every week I had the upcoming week’s lessons planned by Monday morning, according to the Scheme of Work. One day, this teacher met me coming up the stairs when he stopped to tell me that he wanted me to teach something other than what I had meticulously planned for that afternoon. I told him I had already planned my lesson and that I had no free time to plan a completely random topic that wasn’t due to be delivered until the following term. I suggested that I could teach it the lesson after next, but he was insistent it had to be done that afternoon. I knew this was unfair because all lessons should be planned and this is what teachers spend much of their time doing, although experienced teachers have much of the content and material to hand or in their head so they can quickly draft a plan in an emergency. This happened again…then stopped for a while…then recurred…and again. The teacher accused me of “not being capable of teaching because other teachers have to deliver lessons without warning”. I was shocked at this and tried to stick up for myself. Mentally I struggled, perhaps I should have these things in my head ready to rattle out? Perhaps I am not capable of being a teacher? I knew my subject inside out, but putting it into an appropriate lesson that engages and stretches young minds is a different matter, and it was a skill that I was still working on over most  evenings and weekends. 

I informed the Head of Department and she took charge of my placement from then on in that school, but nothing more was said about the matter. As planned, I left the school a few weeks later, with that feeling of failure hanging over me, mostly because I felt unable to deliver a lesson that I hadn’t spent time planning. A year on I heard that the teacher had been sacked some months earlier, but I didn’t know the circumstances. There were lots of other occasions where things happened at this school that made me feel sad and incapable 

I met my old external assessor about 12 years after leaving that school. He reminisced over my time at the school and told me that Ihad been badly treated there and that he had felt bad about the bullying I had received. This was the first time I had heard this mentioned. I had never accused them of bullying, and the school management, my college and my assessor have never mentioned or apologised for bad treatment or bullying. 

The external assessor had time to reflect too perhaps.

This might be that the supervisor concerned had different memories about what they learned the job should be.

However I doubt it.  Instead they where employing a similar rationale for many of the extraordinary inconsistencies in expectation versus capability and downright lying that goes about it in a working environment.

I have regularly had to work in circumstances where the expected professional standards are not reasonably possible to achieve given the time and resources available.

This is an enormous stressor to most people and I found that being autistic it created an almost unbearable tension regarding the futility of how one is spending one's efforts and ultimately one's life.

Raising attention to it upsets people (most curiously especially those in charge) even though the problem needs to be attended to in order for the reason for working in terms of quality of output fundamentally relies upon it.

There is a very unhealthy elephant in the room amongst staff that is generally not talked about.

Fear is used as a control mechanism.

One is expected to "put up and shut up".

I and I suspect you are by our nature inclined to the child that points out that the emperor is not wearing any clothes.  The story doesn't go on to tell what happened to the child.,,

I suspect that both you and I could give suggestions...