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maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

Phased

"Gaslighting is the manipulation by psychological means of a person (or group) which causes them to doubt themselves, their capabilities or their sense of reality. "

I recently came across this article Cognitive Dissonance and Autism | The Neurodivergent Brain

I came out of it understanding that according to the article...

Memories of events stay the same however interpretation of why things happened as they did can change, this is a more "autistic way" of how to settle mental confusion. 

Neurotypical people on the other hand are more likely to change their memories of things to settle the confusion.

So when a neurotypical person gives a version of events that completely is at odds with what autistic people recall happening which consequently "gaslights" the autistic person this might explain it.

I have to say that for myself this has a sense of authenticity about it.

Or am I just deluding myself as much as the article accuses neurotypical people of doing to themselves?

Thought anyone please?

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  • I have actually been doing some observational research on this, I am quite analytical. 

    They prefer to force the situation into what they consider to be their favor as they cannot rationale how internalised nd behaviour is (its illegible to them).

    I had an incident on a bus the otherday when I was waiting to get off and a middle aged '' woman was pushing me from behind, as I moved off she deliberately barged past me. I felt she identified that I was nd and did not like it. That kind of hostility is every day at any point. For young nd men/boys its always suprising when mature women do this. If I am completely honest I remember nursery workers and classroom assistants at primary school being verbally vicious. Its inherant and pervasive.

    I think its amusing (if I didn't I woulnt be here) because I worked hard all the way through school and work and people were systematically trying to obstruct and mislead me. examples:

    • Being told I wouldnt be able to take a levels or ever get to university - I now have a masters degree 
    • Being criticised by teachers told I was ugly or stupid
    • Having my work sabotaged in the office workplace
    • Not being paid by employers (under contract) having cheques bounce, or having my national insurance paid
    • Being gaslit by female managers and cooworkers

    We all know what they are doing. Entire industries are underperforming at such a mediocre level, and workplaces are complicit. 

    I am absolutely clear now people were obstructing me at every level of my education and career. Although I cannot prove there was complicity in each location I know these were not isolated events. The lack of openmindeness they have (like they all share the same brain) I don't let it shock me but it is an injustice when people behave that way and are not reprimanded.

  • in reply to pietro_21

    I think there is something about a certain type of female -they can be particularly nasty to everyone who doesn't pander to them. Pattern recognition can help to see the ones to avoid, but in places like work if it's your manager especially, it can be inescapable I imagine.

    I wish it didn't destroy so many lives, some of us are quite happy to do what we want to do without any fuss. I sometimes think it's like it's easy to kick the dog that doesn't bite back.

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    The way I think of it is they share a brain, but are actually unfeeling. Some of these females have zero emotional intelligence. They care a lot about themselves and not others. Being in the workplace is a nightmare, if I behaved that way I would lose my job immediately. 

    I am glad you/others see it too. I think mostly what I realised what that whole companies are underperforming because whole offices of people are basically pretending to be professional. This upset me because I always worked hard and did things well, I was basicaly manipulated and negated.

    It like a huge wave of defeatism coming at us. 

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    You’re right on it, they hate to look bad:)! The whole thing is a house of cards a lot of people have not been working hard.

    If you scale up the incompetence through its obvious big companies have actually been failing, this is what I reported to Hmrc two years ago and they refunded several year of pension. They never told me what happened with the employers though. I knew they were breaking the law both in their treatment and not paying me correctly.

    I have to sleep but I have a list of things to look out for I will post at some point.

    nice to chat Cinnabar

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  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    You’re right on it, they hate to look bad:)! The whole thing is a house of cards a lot of people have not been working hard.

    If you scale up the incompetence through its obvious big companies have actually been failing, this is what I reported to Hmrc two years ago and they refunded several year of pension. They never told me what happened with the employers though. I knew they were breaking the law both in their treatment and not paying me correctly.

    I have to sleep but I have a list of things to look out for I will post at some point.

    nice to chat Cinnabar

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