Broken or different

When my mood is low, I'm more likely to feel broken. When it's up, I'm more likely to feel different. It can be a struggle to hang on to the latter when the former raises it head again.

Recite a little mantra to tell yourself you're not broken. Fake a big smile (it really works). Focus on the little things that are good. Take it one day at a time. I dunno, really. Depression is bloody awful. For me, it always passed eventually, though.

I hope that clinical study provides some relief.

I've been through the fake it until you make it smile thing and it really doesn't work for me, I have a natural resting angry face and a big fake smile just doesn't sit well. It tends to be part of the CBT programme and I don't find that helpful either.

I hope the trial is helpful as I really need some relief from this. My depression doesn't really ever go away, it may lessen but eventually it comes back to challenge my ability to function.

Maybe you need to be brutally honest with yourself and try to find the real root causes. Then write them down, then look at them and think what small steps you could take to make them a bit better.

I compartmentalise things and bury them, pretend they don't matter, distract myself  and intellectualise. They are all ways to avoid facing emotions and dealing with things. But being in denial does not help.

It may be hard. Some of the things may be confusing, or even not really true. But you loop and fantasize.

Seeing it written down help.

Just an idea.

Yes, I have one of those. This week is going to be a little intense as it's the first treatment week. Tuesday is actually the big day so we'll see what that brings. I have my own psychotherapist assigned to me so I should be getting one to one care, which should be fun!

Onwards and upwards etc

Set up a clinical study small backpack of (your version of) Autism-self stuff: water, snack, baseball cap, sunglasses, fidget item, doodle pad and pens, analgesic known safe to you, handheld rechargeable fan, a folding sit mat for a break outdoors, a book, ANC Headphones and music tracks - whatever it takes - and do use them.

The whole day was 7 and a half hours, that was just the psychology bit, I had the physical bit to do as well and my blood pressure wasn't playing ball.

I'm really not good at self advocating, I tend to fall back and us humour as a defence mechanism, I'm a funny laid back guy (who's dying inside and full of self doubt and criticism).

They were nice people and did ask if I needed a break but I was so desperate to be accepted I just kept on going, this could be said about my life in general.

The whole day was 7 and a half hours, that was just the psychology bit, I had the physical bit to do as well and my blood pressure wasn't playing ball.

I'm really not good at self advocating, I tend to fall back and us humour as a defence mechanism, I'm a funny laid back guy (who's dying inside and full of self doubt and criticism).

They were nice people and did ask if I needed a break but I was so desperate to be accepted I just kept on going, this could be said about my life in general.

Yes, I have one of those. This week is going to be a little intense as it's the first treatment week. Tuesday is actually the big day so we'll see what that brings. I have my own psychotherapist assigned to me so I should be getting one to one care, which should be fun!

Onwards and upwards etc

Set up a clinical study small backpack of (your version of) Autism-self stuff: water, snack, baseball cap, sunglasses, fidget item, doodle pad and pens, analgesic known safe to you, handheld rechargeable fan, a folding sit mat for a break outdoors, a book, ANC Headphones and music tracks - whatever it takes - and do use them.