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Broken or different

Hergé

Somewhere along the line of my journey I was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression and then a few decades later autism.

For a very long time I considered myself to be broken with some chance or hope or some sort of repair/recovery. Since my assessment last year, I'd begun to think of myself as different but lately I just can't shake the feeling that I'm inferior or damaged. I don't know if it's because my depression has been really kicking my butt lately but it can't really be helping.

I'm feeling a bit lost and it's been a difficult week. I'm about to start a clinical study that's dealing with TRD and it's dredged up all sorts of thoughts and I'm feeling particularly vulnerable.

Parents

  • When my mood is low, I'm more likely to feel broken. When it's up, I'm more likely to feel different. It can be a struggle to hang on to the latter when the former raises it head again.

    Recite a little mantra to tell yourself you're not broken. Fake a big smile (it really works). Focus on the little things that are good. Take it one day at a time. I dunno, really. Depression is bloody awful. For me, it always passed eventually, though.

    I hope that clinical study provides some relief.

Reply

  • When my mood is low, I'm more likely to feel broken. When it's up, I'm more likely to feel different. It can be a struggle to hang on to the latter when the former raises it head again.

    Recite a little mantra to tell yourself you're not broken. Fake a big smile (it really works). Focus on the little things that are good. Take it one day at a time. I dunno, really. Depression is bloody awful. For me, it always passed eventually, though.

    I hope that clinical study provides some relief.

Children
  • in reply to Damojo

    I've been through the fake it until you make it smile thing and it really doesn't work for me, I have a natural resting angry face and a big fake smile just doesn't sit well. It tends to be part of the CBT programme and I don't find that helpful either.

    I hope the trial is helpful as I really need some relief from this. My depression doesn't really ever go away, it may lessen but eventually it comes back to challenge my ability to function.