Broken or different

When my mood is low, I'm more likely to feel broken. When it's up, I'm more likely to feel different. It can be a struggle to hang on to the latter when the former raises it head again.

Recite a little mantra to tell yourself you're not broken. Fake a big smile (it really works). Focus on the little things that are good. Take it one day at a time. I dunno, really. Depression is bloody awful. For me, it always passed eventually, though.

I hope that clinical study provides some relief.

I've been through the fake it until you make it smile thing and it really doesn't work for me, I have a natural resting angry face and a big fake smile just doesn't sit well. It tends to be part of the CBT programme and I don't find that helpful either.

I hope the trial is helpful as I really need some relief from this. My depression doesn't really ever go away, it may lessen but eventually it comes back to challenge my ability to function.

"Fake it until you make it" was unexpectedly the opening slide of a course I once attended ...sorry, but nope - that is not a tactic which suits me.  It was as much as I could do not to exit right then at the first slide.

I have 2 prior experiences of CBT ...when I crashed and burned (as I didn't know at that stage that I am Autistic).  The trauma from archive kept being overshadowed by the trauma of the NT-style CBT experience.  I kept getting the vibe I was being prompted to tick boxes like: anxiety / depression / suicidal ideation - when those things didn't seem to match my reality or my experience of it.

My "doing my very best in the environment" resting in battle face can prompt an unsolicited "Cheer up love, it might never happen" remark from some bloke in a supermarket.  (I wasn't miserable before the remark ... that just changed ... thanks a lot!).

For me, A welcoming light at the end of the tunnel is currently centred around learning more about Autistic burnout and trying and reviewing / refining what recovery and ongoing maintenance techniques might suit me as an Autistic person.

Any time pushing progress incurs a derailment / setback - the post mortem common denominator usually seems to include ...I forget my Autism accommodations and had the throttle too far open.  (Rest, slow it down, feel "now", regroup, gather energy and resources, step forward to try again in a more regulated manner).  I have to keep reminding myself it isn't a competition - continuing progress is the reward (not some mythical instant perfection).

I might be: stressed / exhausted / lacking motivation / morose / needing more solo time / unenthusiastic about pastimes and intense interests / find emotions are more hair-triggered than at other times / fed up / frustrated / loding my executive function performance levels - but each of those things it may take me several days to realise are in play - and none of them overlay neatly (or at all) onto anyone's wretched "wellbeing" snapshot questionnaires.  (Try asking me in 3 days time when I have canvassed my systems and started to collate some of the responses).

"Fake it until you make it" was unexpectedly the opening slide of a course I once attended ...sorry, but nope - that is not a tactic which suits me.  It was as much as I could do not to exit right then at the first slide.

I have 2 prior experiences of CBT ...when I crashed and burned (as I didn't know at that stage that I am Autistic).  The trauma from archive kept being overshadowed by the trauma of the NT-style CBT experience.  I kept getting the vibe I was being prompted to tick boxes like: anxiety / depression / suicidal ideation - when those things didn't seem to match my reality or my experience of it.

My "doing my very best in the environment" resting in battle face can prompt an unsolicited "Cheer up love, it might never happen" remark from some bloke in a supermarket.  (I wasn't miserable before the remark ... that just changed ... thanks a lot!).

For me, A welcoming light at the end of the tunnel is currently centred around learning more about Autistic burnout and trying and reviewing / refining what recovery and ongoing maintenance techniques might suit me as an Autistic person.

Any time pushing progress incurs a derailment / setback - the post mortem common denominator usually seems to include ...I forget my Autism accommodations and had the throttle too far open.  (Rest, slow it down, feel "now", regroup, gather energy and resources, step forward to try again in a more regulated manner).  I have to keep reminding myself it isn't a competition - continuing progress is the reward (not some mythical instant perfection).

I might be: stressed / exhausted / lacking motivation / morose / needing more solo time / unenthusiastic about pastimes and intense interests / find emotions are more hair-triggered than at other times / fed up / frustrated / loding my executive function performance levels - but each of those things it may take me several days to realise are in play - and none of them overlay neatly (or at all) onto anyone's wretched "wellbeing" snapshot questionnaires.  (Try asking me in 3 days time when I have canvassed my systems and started to collate some of the responses).