Depression

Hi and welcome

Really sorry to hear of your challenges, I do also struggle off and on so I understand a little about how it can wear you down. 
This is not medical advice but just my personal experience. I have been on antidepressants for a while now which help a little but by no means is it a magic wand, I have also been having therapy for quite some time which again is not a fix but it helps. My therapist is neurodivergent herself so it feels far more authentic to me and allows me to be very open with her. I also meditate every day and listen to brown noise throughout the night on my audio sleep mask which helps.

i journal most days as well which help to remove them from looping over and over in my head as well, that way when I look back and there is gaps in my journaling I know I have had some good days.

For me lots of little things that help all add up to be a bigger help so I guess trying different things might help you to make some new discoveries. 

I have lost interest in my special interests and have for a while now and I don’t know why so I’m hoping I regain my enthusiasm for them as they occupied my attention. 

I would say try not to be so critical of yourself but it’s very difficult to put into practice when things are tough.

I hope you are able to find some small things that help

I’ve felt the same way for a long time, like I’m just existing rather than living. Something that helped me a bit was trying cbd for ADHD. I didn't expect much, but it actually helped me chill out and focus better during rough days. It’s not a magic fix, but it gave me a small lift when everything felt too heavy.

1. I’m sorry to hear you are also struggling. Thank you so much for the reminders, I needed to hear that. I am definitely too hard on myself, but it’s difficult not to be when everyone else is doing so much better than me and I’m comparing myself to them. My boyfriend has the same interests as me, I kind of adopted his hobbies so we can talk about anime and gaming together. One of my friends likes to game but anime is my favourite and a big escape from reality for me. I did start drawing something new the other day and gave up half way through and now I will probably never go back to finishing it lol. I should probably start journaling again, it’s a good way of getting the thoughts out of my head onto paper. I definitely do not feel worthy and haven’t for a very long time. I was bullied and excluded in school all my life really, so it’s difficult to have any sense of self-worth even now I finished school years ago. It’s like now the bully is my own head. Thank you, you can also message me any time. I wish you the best too <3

Hogwarts Legacy is a brilliant game, and really beautiful. 

Perhaps try just playing for an hour at a time and then having a break?

I'm sorry you're struggling so much lovely and I get completely how you feel as someone who doesn't have a job and is also waiting on therapy to help myself move forward. I'm glad you're managing to still do things you enjoy - that's a major positive and I'm proud of you for trying to do things like that. It's also so good that you're trying therapy and open to it - hopefully that will help and the wait won't be too long. It sounds like you're being too hard on yourself from my perspective - you deserve to be kind to yourself as you're doing your best. Take every day as it comes and try to do something good for yourself such as watching your animes and listening to music - that may also help when your head is loud. Do you have people you regularly talk to, especially about your interests as that might help? Otherwise it might be good to try different things and see what works for you as everyone is different. 

some things I might suggest are:

- if you feel physically capable, take.a short walk especially if there's somewhere scenic near you to sit 

- set only one or two goals of the day to complete (can be small things like brushing your teeth or making a coffee in the morning) but it might help you acknowledge your  accomplishments and feel better?

- maybe try to draw something new?

- 5 senses technique is also often beneficial when you feel overwhelmed 

- journalling is a good way of getting thoughts out. I have even in the past written my thoughts on pieces of paper, scrunching them up and thrown them away in a symbolic way of letting them go?

- maybe make a bucket list of things you want to do? having long-term goals can be helpful for some people  instead of short-term especially when they're fun (such as places you want to go and things you want to do)

Ultimately, I hope you know you are worth so much just as you are, and that there aren't things you need to achieve/do to feel worthy. You are just for existing. There isn't just one way of doing life and everyone can go at their own pace - it's a marathon, not a sprint! It's so easy to get stuck in these kind of ruts (I know I have many times) and it's important to be gentle, patient and kind to yourself. I hope things get better for you and if you ever want to talk I'm only a message away.

Wishing you the best <3

Oooh that anime event sounds so fun! I hope you enjoy it! I’ve heard of crunchyroll but never really looked into it so I will do my research! And you can never have too many of what you love, that’s how I personally look at it. Omg I want a hot wheels and even Lego of Princess Peach and even Yoshi lol! I hope your therapy goes well too! I’m always here if you need to chat too xx 

Dear faespirit,

Thank you for reaching out to the online community. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. I can see you've already had some great responses, I hope this helps with your feelings of loneliness. 

 If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support

The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. We advise you to contact 999 or any of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page if you are at risk of immediate harm: www.autism.org.uk/.../urgent-help

If you are not at immediate risk of harm, we would encourage you to speak to your GP or another health professional about this if you haven’t done so already.

I have also included some links to our advice and guidance pages that may be helpful:

- https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/depression

- https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/anxiety

- https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/seeking-help

The National Autistic Society also have a services directory. This can help you locate additional support that may be available in your area - https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory

I hope things feel better soon,

Olivia Mod

Hi, thank you yes I’m new to the community. My doctors are pretty useless. I’ve been on many antidepressants and none of them have worked. I’m hoping adhd medication may improve things. I have barely worked since I left school so I don’t think it’s burnout I don’t know. I have tried many jobs since then and had to quit every time. I’m constantly overwhelmed and stressed over silly little things.

That’s true, hobbies are a great distraction if I could actually make myself start doing them (adhd paralysis).. I like reading fantasy too, I used to read a lot but don’t anymore. It’s quite difficult to read when my head is always racing so much that I can’t take in the information I’m reading. I do like fantasy and romance though, it’s a good escape from reality into another world of magic.

Nice, I wanted to try Hogwarts Legacy, is it good? I play on pc but have xbox too. I like cosy games such as Hello Kitty Adventure Island, Infinity Nikki, Palia and Critter Cafe, but I don’t play too much because I get stressed with all the tasks it gives you to do.

Thank you very much for the information, I’ll look into it.

I guess I see it that way because my family thinks I shouldn’t waste money on them and that I already have too many. But yeh I do enjoy it, I love the mini jellycats and girly anime figures. Okay, I use Crunchyroll to watch anime which is quite good. I like princess peach, I have a Hot Wheels of her. Thank you, I’m trying my best not to, hopefully the therapy comes quickly. I am going to an anime event this week so I’m looking forward to that :)

Hi, I don't think I've seen you posting before so welcome to the community.

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling. It's  common with depression to not see the point of things and lose interest in your usual hobbies and activities. Have you fully explained how you feel to your doctor? You say you are waiting for therapy, but has your doctor suggested medication for the depression? I'm not giving medical advice here, but your doctor will be able to advise if medication could help you to get things back on track enjoying your usual activities, even if its a temporary measure until therapy starts.

Remember that many autistic people find it difficult to work or do volunteering due to sensory overwhelm, so you are not alone. You may be suffering from autistic burn out and if so then a period of resting may help. Maybe talking about your interests on this forum might help you feel more connected to others.

I like reading, particularly sci-fi, fantasy, time travel and dystopian fiction.

I also enjoy video games and my favourites are Sims 4, Fallout 4, Assassins creed odyssey, BioShock and Hogwarts Legacy. I play on an Xbox. What platform do you play on, and what are your favourite games?

Aww don’t you worry about buying those figures and plushies, I am exactly the same! It’s not an obsession from my point of view, it’s a passion and you should be proud of your passions. Maybe try spending on something like once a month or something, or save up a little bit then have a little splash out. I will have to have a look for the anime’s you have mentioned, I don’t seem to get many anime shows on my tv and subscriptions so I tend to watch on daily motion if that is possible. My favourite anime is Kirby, right back at ya! I also like playing cozy and simulation games too. I really like playing Animal Crossing, I also enjoyed Simpsons tapped out but that closed in January. I also like adventure games and action games too, my favourite franchises are Mario, Yoshi, Kirby and Princess Peach and lately I have been playing a childhood game I love which is Simpsons hit and run! I hope you feel better soon, please don’t do anything to hurt yourself, you are worthy x

Having a formal diagnosis means that a therapist can tailor your treatment accordingly and not waste time on typical CBT stuff which may not 'take'.

faespirit said:

I’m waiting for therapy but I don’t see a way forward.

faespirit said:

I hope therapy helps but I have done it many times before with no luck. But maybe this time will be different as I’m actually diagnosed with autism and adhd now. I’ve tried counselling, cbt and art therapy.

In respect of your upcoming therapy, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book. It discusses various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful - it certainly helped me to have more effective talking therapy after my own diagnosis than I'd received before:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Thank you, I hope therapy helps but I have done it many times before with no luck. But maybe this time will be different as I’m actually diagnosed with autism and adhd now. I’ve tried counselling, cbt and art therapy. I am waiting for adhd medication too so I’m hoping it can make some sort of difference.

I’m sorry you feel the same way. Thank you for the suggestions. Music definitely helps a little with the loud thoughts. I’m glad to hear I’m not alone, but sorry you are suffering too. I like every anime I watch really, but my favourites are Demon Slayer and My Dress Up Darling. I just finished watching Am I Actually The Strongest and just started Overlord. My favourite are the reincarnation and romance anime’s. I like playing cosy games such as Critter Cafe and Hello Kitty Adventure Island. But I don’t play much because I get stressed easily with the list of tasks it gives you to do. What’s your favourite anime’s and games? I also have a bad obsession with buying anime figures and plushies which is stressful because I don’t have much money to buy those things :,(

Hi there, I’m so sorry you are struggling at the moment. I feel the exact same way as you so I feel for you, I hope you are looking after yourself. I enjoy the same hobbies as you, maybe when try and ground yourself with like the 5 senses technique or look for things of a specific shape. Please do enjoy your hobbies though as they are what help you and make you feel better. As for the loud head issue, maybe try listening to music to drown those horrible things in your head out, whether it’s upbeat or calming. I know we haven’t met but from what you have described I can understand you and your issues so you’re not alone. 

What anime and games do you like? 

Also love your profile pic 

faespirit said:

I’m waiting for therapy but I don’t see a way forward.

Well I think you just listed a way forward right there. It sounds like therapy is the best idea for you at the moment. I will say though: If therapy doesn’t help, then don’t give up. Try another therapist. Or try a different sort of therapy. Don’t judge the outcome of your life solely on whether this upcoming therapy is going to work out well or not.