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Depression

faespirit

I am literally just wasting my life away. I try and make changes in my life and then can’t cope and quit everything. All I want to do is isolate myself indoors and never see anyone again. I just quit my volunteering because I couldn’t cope with the stress, anxiety, depression and pain from my pain conditions. I think there is no job out there for me. I had to give my puppy to my parents because I couldn’t cope with her anymore and was getting extreme suicidal thoughts. I feel lonely like no one understands me. I don’t see the point in life just to suffer everyday. I try to do hobbies and things I enjoy like anime, gaming, drawing and listening to music but nothing will shake away the feeling of guilt, shame and worthlessness. I can’t even start hobbies because I get stuck overthinking and overwhelmed and then can’t move (adhd paralysis). My head is always so loud and won’t shut up. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m waiting for therapy but I don’t see a way forward.

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  • Hi, I don't think I've seen you posting before so welcome to the community.

    I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling. It's  common with depression to not see the point of things and lose interest in your usual hobbies and activities. Have you fully explained how you feel to your doctor? You say you are waiting for therapy, but has your doctor suggested medication for the depression? I'm not giving medical advice here, but your doctor will be able to advise if medication could help you to get things back on track enjoying your usual activities, even if its a temporary measure until therapy starts.

    Remember that many autistic people find it difficult to work or do volunteering due to sensory overwhelm, so you are not alone. You may be suffering from autistic burn out and if so then a period of resting may help. Maybe talking about your interests on this forum might help you feel more connected to others.

    I like reading, particularly sci-fi, fantasy, time travel and dystopian fiction.

    I also enjoy video games and my favourites are Sims 4, Fallout 4, Assassins creed odyssey, BioShock and Hogwarts Legacy. I play on an Xbox. What platform do you play on, and what are your favourite games?

  • in reply to Lotus

    Hi, thank you yes I’m new to the community. My doctors are pretty useless. I’ve been on many antidepressants and none of them have worked. I’m hoping adhd medication may improve things. I have barely worked since I left school so I don’t think it’s burnout I don’t know. I have tried many jobs since then and had to quit every time. I’m constantly overwhelmed and stressed over silly little things.

    That’s true, hobbies are a great distraction if I could actually make myself start doing them (adhd paralysis).. I like reading fantasy too, I used to read a lot but don’t anymore. It’s quite difficult to read when my head is always racing so much that I can’t take in the information I’m reading. I do like fantasy and romance though, it’s a good escape from reality into another world of magic.

    Nice, I wanted to try Hogwarts Legacy, is it good? I play on pc but have xbox too. I like cosy games such as Hello Kitty Adventure Island, Infinity Nikki, Palia and Critter Cafe, but I don’t play too much because I get stressed with all the tasks it gives you to do.

  • in reply to faespirit

    Hogwarts Legacy is a brilliant game, and really beautiful. 

    Perhaps try just playing for an hour at a time and then having a break?

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