Extreme Self Consciousness problems

Hi,

In the last couple of years or so I've become massively self conscious when I am face to face with people. I never used to have an issue with this but I've just become very aware of other people's and my body language, facial expressions and eye contact, and now I can't seem to concentrate at all on when I am face to face with someone. It's like a worm thats suddenly entered my head and I can't get rid of it again. 

I will be slightly trembling, sweating, and extremely tense, my facial muscles twitch or tense up.

What's really uspetting is that I can see the effect that this has on the other person. They look really uncomfortable, sometimes upset, and start to avoid looking at me, and eventually like my neighbours start avoiding me completely. I've been to a psychiatrist and hypnotist but neither has helped and both strongly suggest that I might be imagining the other people's reactions. I know I'm not though, I've had  enough good connections with people over the years to know when someone is comfortable with me or not.

I've tried doing more socialising but it's not helping, the more bad reactions that I receive the more "trauma" that's there for the next one I think.

If I have phone calls with the same people, I'm like a different person, jovial and chatty, so I'm sure my social skills are reasonable.

It feels like I need to see someone who can deal with a phobia, like say spiders, who can just reprogram my brain!

Does anyone else have this same issue or ideas on what I can do?

Thanks for any advice :)

Parents
  • Research is ongoing with regard to social anxiety as experienced by Autistic people and what type of therapy approach is likely helpful versus detrimental..

    One of the researchers working in this field is Dr Alex Wilson of Newcastle University.

    To read more:

    https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/13623613241251513

    Wilson, A. C., & Gullon-Scott, F. (2024). ‘It’s not always textbook social anxiety’: A survey-based study investigating the nature of social anxiety and experiences of therapy in autistic people. Autism, 28(11), 2923-2936. doi.org/.../13623613241251513 (Original work published 2024)

    To watch a webinar on the material (55:47 minutes):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN37lT-YlJg

    [At the time of the webinar] Dr Alex Wilson is currently [2023 / 2024] completing his training as a Clinical Psychologist at Newcastle University. Before this, he completed a PhD at Oxford University, focusing on communication in autistic people. He is interested in improving psychological services for neurodivergent people and individuals with long-term neurological conditions.

  • Thankyou Dormouse, as it happens I have contacted Alex Wilson personally as his Youtube video echoed my experience perfectly. Most standard therapies assume the problem is all in your head and not real, whereas for many ASD people it's actually real that you don't quite fit with many people socially. He hadn't done any more research when I contacted him but he advised that I print out his thesis and hand it to therapists. 

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  • Thankyou Dormouse, as it happens I have contacted Alex Wilson personally as his Youtube video echoed my experience perfectly. Most standard therapies assume the problem is all in your head and not real, whereas for many ASD people it's actually real that you don't quite fit with many people socially. He hadn't done any more research when I contacted him but he advised that I print out his thesis and hand it to therapists. 

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