how to get out my own head

aurelis said:

i reached a breaking point this year, and realised I lacked routine

This is fairly easy to setup and organise but very hard to maintain, especially if you have ADHD traits.

This is something I would suggest discussing with your GP and see if they could suggest any medication to trial to see if it helps you.

It may just be a case of you need to use it in times of extreme stress like now but it often comes with side effects that you should study and consider before agreeing to such an option.

The other safer option is to get yourself a psychotherapist with skills in neurodiversity to help you practice techniques that can help. I used to be very much the same and found mindfulness was a great tool to enable me to rationalise situations and create plans / schedules when needed to get over the chaos I often found myself amongst (I used to specialise in fixing broken IT teams so often ended up rebuilding teams while huge backlogs of calls existed and there were multiple disasters happening daily).

Having a solid understanding of "best practice" processes for your line of work helps tremendously too - you can use these to guide many of your processes and then do regular catch up sessions each day to revisit your priorities and adapt in the worst of the chaos until it starts to smooth out.

The mindfulness teaches the discipline but if your ADHD is getting in the way then the meds may be what you need - get advice from the professionals on this would be my recommendation.

Here I know that the backlog for getting therapy is quite long. I know something I need is considering best practice. Because a lot of the time I am trying to force practices in for me that I believe will help me be more productive, and I end up running down a path of working harder and not smarter.

I am concerned about the side effects that can come with medication, thinking that it may make me feel dull. 

I know that the best thing for me is having someone alongside me that can help me organise things and prioritise what is necessary. As I am self-employed, and the employment I do take on expects independence, it can be difficult to think to ask for help, and it is assumed that you are managing okay because I can make it come together in the end, albeit last minute and in a lot of stress haha.

How do you use mindfulness? what is your routine for that? My mind runs very fast and often challenging to find a way to slow it down.

aurelis said:

How do you use mindfulness?

In essence it is a way to focus your thoughts on the present which gives you the ability to observe yourself and understand what you are feeling, how your mind is working and - with practice - actively change the default habits of your mind to a more positive outcome.

It is more complex than that and a good explanation is given here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness

I use it to take control of my thoughts that used to run away, catastrophise or go all ADHD and look for new stimuli. With it I have a lot more mental discipline and have been able to overcome a lot of the issues my autism has thrown at me.

It does cost mentally and you need to learn when a break is needed. To help with this I also learned some meditation which helps me calm and recharge faster than I used to.

Here is quite a good link to explain how to use some simple basics from mindfulness to calm yourself:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/practical-mindfulness/202502/the-best-1-minute-mindfulness-practice-for-reducing-stress

It is quite possible to learn at home and practice until it starts working for you - no need to pay for a teacher or traiing course.

aurelis said:

How do you use mindfulness?

In essence it is a way to focus your thoughts on the present which gives you the ability to observe yourself and understand what you are feeling, how your mind is working and - with practice - actively change the default habits of your mind to a more positive outcome.

It is more complex than that and a good explanation is given here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness

I use it to take control of my thoughts that used to run away, catastrophise or go all ADHD and look for new stimuli. With it I have a lot more mental discipline and have been able to overcome a lot of the issues my autism has thrown at me.

It does cost mentally and you need to learn when a break is needed. To help with this I also learned some meditation which helps me calm and recharge faster than I used to.

Here is quite a good link to explain how to use some simple basics from mindfulness to calm yourself:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/practical-mindfulness/202502/the-best-1-minute-mindfulness-practice-for-reducing-stress

It is quite possible to learn at home and practice until it starts working for you - no need to pay for a teacher or traiing course.