Mitigating the worst of the 'Tism...

There are people here, (and ocasionally I am one of you) who hate their lives, and really wish they could take a pill and be rid of the Autism 

Let's be realistic here, having Autism is like being tall. (I had a much more amusing simile complete with video but I want this topic to get past my current personal censor, so I'll try that in a separate post, I have to, I'm still laughing at the sillness) You have to live with it. 

So what hope is there for those like me (at times) who feel utterly overwhelmed and disenfranchised?

And how do we negotiate the basket of co-morbidities that many of us report? 

For myself, recenlty I got stuck in a cycle of what seemed to me to be "other peoples" behaviour, but at some point my own propensity for bad behaviour usually quite well suppressed kicked in and I got my self "on the naughty step". Well, I've always respected the moderators decisions as regards myself before this, BUT THIS CHANGES THINGS was, my initial (Autistic?) thinking..

I'm pretty sure it's an autistic thing (why are all the books full of words and ideas and case histories, rather than a simple haynes manual with "box" diagrams and lists of manifestaions and variants etc?) The tendancy to lose ones shi (Oh go-on, "Sitelords" some basic rude worlds really fit...) when faced with sudden restrictions or variation of ones "routine".

Where our Autism I believe spills into the territory of a disabilty or an illness is when we get a strong urge to "DO SOMETHING!!" This is a BAD mental state,(and the more you dislike things or people, or your life the more I hope you test that statement in your mind) akin to Sexual Jealousy, or a psychotic break or the effects of a drug, it's BAD.

In my case it got me on 30 days of well deserved, (and frankly, educational) moderation! BUT when I got that FEELIING of "this changes things" and the strong ideation of "I must do something" I have previously used my Autistic pattern recognition ability to recognise these strong and dangerous urges and I (like many of you, who have also worked this out, you know who you are)  have an antidote. "Do nothing out of the ordinary" Seriously, this works like gangbusters, and if the issue tries to grow malignant and insinuate it into your day, then if at all possible, go sleep it off, or just do "displacement activity")

Giving myself time to process and react later (if at all) is a winning strategy that mitigates the Tism. 

May I acknowledge and thank Longspoons in particular for a P.M. he sent me about 3 years ago, and which has recenlty been very helpful in terms of getting some insight, buit which seemed to have no useful effect at all at the time I suspect.. There are many other people here, who also deserve a lt of credit for helping me out in P.M.s. For those of you who distrust P.M.'s and see them as "sneaky" there is that, but your real "friends" will use the medium of P.M.'s to warn you that you are making an ass of yourself, in a much nicer way than doing it publically would. 

Well that's about all the semi wisdom I have to offer, now how do YOU "mitigate the 'tism"

Parents
  • I don't react immediately. I try to judge if anything I say could hurt other people weighed against the quickly dispersed high of 'getting something off my chest', or even being 'right'. It doesn't always work, of course.

    Sometimes I think I've cracked it and I have got good at reading people as good as an NT, and then something happens to make reality kick in.

    A totally benign example is when my wife invited a neighbour over several nights ago without much warning. So I'm dealing with that anxiety. We were looking after the dog at the time and the neighbour says, "I bet you hate having her here and having to take her for walks all the time." I said, "No! I love it!!". It was only later that I realised that she was being sarcastic. Something that I have learned to spot, but if I'm distracted or whatever then that skill crumbles. I also can't use NT skills when I'm driving - too much brainpower being used at once. I didn't realise that until recently. My wife now knows, after 20 years, why I seem grouchy when I'm driving when I don't feel grouchy at all - I can only give short truthful answers though.

    I'm not sure if I've answered your post at all now. But at least I've got this sarcasm anecdote off my chest. It's been bothering me for days.

  • the neighbour says, "I bet you hate having her here and having to take her for walks all the time." I said, "No! I love it!!". It was only later that I realised that she was being sarcastic

    Well you know, I think it's an achievement to have the ability to spit sarcasm - just reading your post I took that literally, would have done IRL; and suspect so would many others with the 'tism! 

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  • the neighbour says, "I bet you hate having her here and having to take her for walks all the time." I said, "No! I love it!!". It was only later that I realised that she was being sarcastic

    Well you know, I think it's an achievement to have the ability to spit sarcasm - just reading your post I took that literally, would have done IRL; and suspect so would many others with the 'tism! 

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