Published on 12, July, 2020
*trigger warning - this post mentions self harm/suicide*
I hope it's ok to post this here! A few months ago I made a new friend and they have autism. They are several years younger than me however we have a lot of banter together and speak daily. My issue is that I feel that they're crossing the line too much now. I've observed them swearing at home and insulting family, and also to some of their other friends. Our friendship came about from a mutual enjoyment of insulting each other but in a joking way. Now, however, they often tell me to kill myself or to slit my wrists. They've also told me before that they hope I die in a car accident, which touched a nerve as I was involved in a car accident a few years ago (non serious) but it's still something that troubles me. I asked them if they spoke like this to other people but they said that they didn't, they only said this to me. I don't have the greatest understanding of autism so was wondering if anyone could offer insight into this or advice for what I should do about it? I enjoyed being friends with this person but being told to kill myself on a daily basis is starting to get to me.
Hi there. Can I ask you, what do you think their response would be if you showed them/emailed them what you have just written above? It also depends on your answer to the question below, but it can be that the other person doesn't realise that they are being taken seriously. One situation I have been in comes to mind when I thought I had said something as a joke, but it was taken seriously - I just didn't realise I had crossed the line.
Can I also ask whether you feel unsafe with this person? And if you feel unsafe with how you think they would react then please be very careful.
Hi. I'm honestly not sure how they would react. I haven't told them directly that it makes me uncomfortable (and that's my bad) but I've said things like "stop telling me to go do that etc" and their response has been quite dismissive (e.g. "cry about it"). I don't feel unsafe around them, I am older than them however I just find it hurtful that they think it's ok to say things like that to me, especially when they don't to other people. I try to be a good friend and it feels like I'm being punched in the stomach when they repeatedly come out with those kinds of things.