Published on 12, July, 2020
My experience with mental health professionals over years has been negative. Even the recent one hurt me by saying “yeah, you have a lot of autistic traits, but now it’s so popular and trendy to be autistic, everyone wants to be autistic” this one really hurt me. I experienced so much trauma, it’s actually a miracle that I’m still alive. And I share my experience, I trust someone and hope for help, but get this instead. She made me really refuse even trying to get the diagnosis, because it’s “trendy”. I’m not sure if it’s the effect of social media trends or what, but it was humiliating and looks like these words themselves triggered some trauma in me. That professional also said, that it’s not an issue I have no friends. Not everyone must be popular. Recently I had a situation with a dermatologist. I waited 1,5 hour in the doorway, sitting on a chair. The whole time there was the awful squeak and crash of slamming doors. Plus swoosh of conversations, elevators plus everything around. It didn’t seem to bother anyone but me. It gradually made me feel crazy, overwhelmed headache head spinning and just awful. This feeling is absolutely familiar to me and I know well what helps me avoid crying and having meltdown due to sensory overload. To soothe I started rocking and tapping my fingers. People who sat next to me moved their chairs to not sit next to the freak. When my turn came and I was called to the doctors office, he examined the tumour and decided it had to be removed, but then he also said that I have mental health issues. He mentioned me being nervous and not looking him in the eyes. I explained what made me upset then he said I must have some phobias. He advised me to go to the emergency room and seek a psychiatrist. I went there, the lady looked at me like I was crazy and she said they have no psychiatrist, I have to look in other houses of this huge medical complex. There were a lot of houses I asked few other people where is the psychiatrist, but apparently nobody knew. The staff not knowing where is a psychiatrist in the hospital… well ok. I finally found a house with written “mental health” so I entered and there I found out that for emergencies I need to go to emergency room. I had impression that nobody wanted to deal with me and everyone thought of me like I’m crazy so it’s better to get rid of me. Now I fear I will be treated same by another specialist. I got suggestions at work that I should be under the psychologist assistance. I often feel low and not worthy, guilty, worse then others. Sorry for long post. Does anyone know how to approach a psychologist to not be treated like you are exaggerating and how to recognize if the specialist is actually good? Or maybe it’s better to stay away from them?
Alienatedhuman said:Im living in a small town in Germany so here the reality of it may be different.
You could do it over the likes of zoom with the professionals in the UK - that is how I did it (I live in Brazil).
This way it should not appear on any medical records in Germany,
Sorry to hear of your bad experience with so called health professionals. I’m guessing I have been very lucky in that regard, I used a well known site that has registered psychologists and from that I narrowed down to 4. I read their bios and qualifications and had free 30 min phone calls with them. I found an outright winner. She is on the autism spectrum herself and I instantly felt connected. Please don’t give up as there are good understanding therapists out there I’m sure. I would say to see if you can get some free time with them to see if they suit your requirements.
I wish you good luck
Thank you for your answer. I did. my research and I know from the previous psychologist that I have many autistic traits, I also think. Have some ADHD traits, but bipolar does not sound like me. I don’t wanna share with the another therapist that I suspect I’m autistic because I don’t wanna hear again about the “trendy diagnosis”. I want the specialist to concentrate on my problems and help me with them if it’s possible. If they decide themselves I’m autistic and suggest me diagnosis, then I will see. Im living in a small town in Germany so here the reality of it may be different.
Alienatedhuman said:Does anyone know how to approach a psychologist to not be treated like you are exaggerating and how to recognize if the specialist is actually good?
I would start by finding a psychologist on your terms so you feel in control of the interaction, but before you actually call or write to them, cake a bit more control yet and start with a little self diagnosis.
You describe symptoms very much like autism but it could be one or more of the 3 main categories under the banner of neuridivergence, i.e, Autism, ADHD or Bipolar. as theyt all share common symptoms and have a significant enough comorbidity (ie can exist at the same time) to consider.
Have a look at the diagram below to identify which symptoms you have - then write them down and for each add a paragraph on how they happen for you. You will have somebut not all - try to keep your notes separated by the category (autism etc).
Do't worry if you have some in all 3 categories, this is quite normal but it is large clusters of them that are the tell tale signs
When finished, consider re-writing it to tidy it up and make a copy of your notes (camera phone is the most common way).
You can now decide if you want to rely on your GP or if you want to go private. The GP will be free but take years and going private will be more in terms of months but cost a few thousand pounds most likely.
For your GP, send them the diagram and notes to point out you have done your research and want a referral using the "right to choose" path (this gets you a private consult that is a bit faster). If your notes are clear and support the diagnosis then they will have no reason to refuse it.
For going private on your own then locate a private practice that has been recommended and ask to book an appointment with them for an assessment. I would expect there to be a "triage meeting to help assess you initially and see if there are other mental health issues potentially at play.
I think that about covers it.