Published on 12, July, 2020
I've always been quite, though not totally, asocial. A lot of the time I'm fine by myself, though happy to see family. Periodically I've made the attempt to more be social, as that's seen as a part of recovery from a SMI. All have been varying degrees of a failure. The last attempt was over 5 years ago. A small group at the local library run by someone who described himself as a 'radical social worker'. I struggle to initiate conversations, but responded to others comments as best I could. It went down like a lead balloon. Everyone else was getting on great with each other. The thing that made me not attend the group again was being mocked by the 'radical social worker' when I paid for the refreshment I'd had. I'd paid the same as a woman had, 5minutes or so before me. She hadn't been mocked.
I made the conscious then not to attempt more socialising. Subsequent events made it difficult to do so anyway = lower back pain,Covid, reduced mobility after a couple of falls. Still get pain 31 months after a partial hip replacement. Haven't been out on my own for nearly 4 years now.
I do better online, but that's in comparison to very poor socialising IRL.
Without being there, your experience with the refreshment sounds like 'banter'. Banter is something that we are really bad at understanding. There are mysterious rules of where the 'line' is and when we learn about banter and try to join in we can easily cross that line. Usually mocking like you described (as adults) isn't done unkindly.
Or maybe he was an A hole. Or both!
This is a cliche to suggest, but would something like art classes be better. They are fairly gentle and would be good practice for minimal socialising to build up your confidence a bit.
SpikeyMark said:This is a cliche to suggest, but would something like art classes be better
Unfortunately no. I draw about as well as a 6 year old.
I don't think that the drawing is the point. The point was to get you out there, if you felt like you needed something.