Quite,not totally,asocial

I've always been quite, though not totally, asocial. A lot of the time I'm fine by myself, though happy to see family. Periodically I've made the attempt to more be social, as that's seen as a part of recovery from a SMI. All have been varying degrees of a failure. The last attempt was over 5 years ago. A small group at the local library run by someone who described himself as a 'radical social worker'. I struggle to initiate conversations, but responded to others comments as best I could. It went down like a lead balloon. Everyone else was getting on great with each other. The thing that made me not attend the group again was being mocked by the 'radical social worker' when I paid for the refreshment I'd had. I'd paid the same as a woman had, 5minutes or so before me. She hadn't been mocked.

I made the conscious then not to attempt more socialising. Subsequent events made it difficult to do so anyway = lower back pain,Covid, reduced mobility after a couple of falls. Still get pain 31 months after a partial hip replacement. Haven't been out on my own for nearly 4 years now.

I do better online, but that's in comparison to very poor socialising IRL.