Loneliness

Hello, I am a 27 year old female, I was diagnosed with ASD around 2 years ago. I wanted to see if anyone else had experienced extreme feelings of loneliness? I work from home (where I live with my parents) but I have friends I see quite regularly and a sister I talk to either over the phone or in person every day. I just can’t stand being on my own, it feels really uncomfortable for me and males me feel like I am a loser. However, when I am with people or in a busy place I can get overwhelmed and exhausted. I just wondered if anyone else experienced this or has any advice? 

Thank you! 

  • I find I need balance - if I have a busy day at work with lots of people interaction, I need quiet on my own in the evening. I can go 2 days without speaking to anyone but by day 3 I need to get out, even if it is to sit in the cafe watching the world go by, using my headphones if it gets too noisy. I like the non-demanding social contact - I am beside other people but I don't need to talk. I prefer seated places, as I don't like trying to guess where people are going to walk in a crowded shopping centre when I try to work out where I am going.

  • I'm the loneliest person in the world.

  • Common interest groups, as Iain says. Also visit places where others may share them. Ask those fiends if they might meet with you somewhere quiet and in smaller groups.

  • when I am with people or in a busy place I can get overwhelmed and exhausted.

    Have you looked in detail at what specifically is casing the time with people to be overwhelming for you? This will be key to developing a strategy to overcome it.

    The busy spaces thing is much more common - there are just so many information sources that it triggers anxiety and our mental processing potential. There is no straightforward way to fix this unless you can develop the skills through mindfulness and meditation - and even then it takes a lot of practice.

    Do you have any interests that you could use for going to club events for? Maybe book interests, art classes, role playing games etc? This could be a good way to meet people in a low stress environment.