When the fun stops, Stop. A post prompted by Yellow Tree "melting down" and departing yesterday.

I Sperg said:

Also prompted by some of the nicer and more innocent posters asking "why?" both in public and also by P.M.

And yes, also hoping that by exploring this issue we can find a way of understanding and managing these issues, and making the forum work better for all, both old and young, Woke or based male or female, traditional or progressive etc.. 

The inference that “Woke” people are by contrast ungrounded and also that habitually / unconsciously abusive people are grounded ~ is somewhat contradictory, and given the nature of socio-political culture wars ~ it is somewhat unhealthy. Normalised abuse for instance increasingly damages our receptive capacities ~ which not only as such further obstructs the conscientiousness of our sensibilities, but also further corrupts them with unbefitting behaviourisms and conceptualisations about fitting in socially ~ involving of course social camouflage and personal masking ~ in order to reduce the chance of getting further attacked and further wounded.

I Sperg said:

I've mentioned it before, and it bears repeating: I have NEVER had as much "trouble" on the internet as I have had here, and I've been to some pretty contentious places, let me tell you! 

Awakening from the violently shared and enforced unconsciousness, subconsciousness and preconsciousness of normalised abuse is by it’s very nature troubling ~ i.e., layer upon layer of psychological and physiological trauma that is interwoven with unbefitting and oppressive narratives involving meaningfully displaced and replaced terms and terminologies, which is somewhat confusing and often considerably distressing.

I Sperg said:

I suggest, and would like help in the form of disagreement or agreement, that this is a facet of Autism.

It is actually a socially enforced co-morbidity that also effects people with Autism ~ on account of inappropriate facilitation, identification and affirmation socially, i.e., not being given the time or space to develop individually, not being communicated with in a meaningful sense, and not being congratulated when we succeed at things most other people don’t have to consider; let alone bother with!

I Sperg said:

In plain english, Autism leads us to have bad days where we see argument or opposition where none actually exists.

Or more accurately, the socially shared and enforced trauma of the past at best blinds us partially or at worst almost entirely in respect of what is happening in the present.

I Sperg said:

We have have had that in a previous encounter with that person and situation, and the "once bitten twice shy" situation then immediatly seems to kick in HARD. 

There is rather a tendency quite naturally that after decades of social oppression and personal repression ~ that some will continue out of habit to forcefully respond in kind (in the historical sense) ~ at least temporarily or sometimes occasionally.

There is also rather the problem of course that most people end up dealing with their pre- and post-diagnostic psychological issues here, rather than so much or even at all with appropriately qualified and experienced psychologists or councillors etcetera.

I Sperg said:

That is my own personal expererience, and after discussing it at some length with my Sprog, who now actually works in MH and is ND we believe this is an artifact of the well known Auitistic "pattern recoognition" SUPERIORITY  over the NT masses.  

The only problem with that analysis is that inferiority complexes consist of inferior, mediocre 'and' superior delusions of grandeur, which involves the ‘will to power’ that disempowers everyone that is as such transactionally inclined and motivated towards assuming other people’s assumed positions of power, rather than embodying their own internal power and as such setting a fulfilling example that likewise empowers everyone else as well.

I Sperg said:

Yellow Tree however, specifically mentioned two issues that prompted his departure, and whilst it would be easy (and possibly correct) to see those as his personal issues and none of my business,  he specifcially mentioned his own "Woke" beliefs and "60 year old members of this site" as being an issue for him, which does make it my business, FI I am concerned about "ageism" (which I have been since I was about 12 years old and started doing sponsoered walks for "help the aged" etc.) and also because his break with the community was seemingly triggered by a post I made.

A post which I made at the time with my heart singing with joy, as it seemed Yellow Tree had expressed a concept I'm trying to sell very hard these days "Reject the sin but not the sinner". 

What then seemed to happen, is that YT (I hope the obvious abbreviation is O.K.) Read my post, saw an entirely different attitude being expressed to what I was holding, and went with that. My attempt to explain my self only seemed to make matters worse. 

Reserving the right to at least be to some extent wrong, it seems to me that the main problem was that Yellow Tree really did not appreciate a serious debate on the international nature of male and female inequality, nor then also your statement that his acceptance of others smoking was the sort of “Intolerance” that makes you glad to be alive ~ remembering that some people really do get their jollies from sarcastically criticising and humiliating others, and also if you call someone’s opinion a display of intolerance ~ no matter how humorously you meant it to be ~ such things can instead be mistaken as “Emphasised” criticisms, and the offence of which can prevent them from being able to interpret otherwise beyond the last letter of what is for them the offending word.

I Sperg said:

It became obvious to me before Debbie articulated it, (correctly) that if I merely shut up and stop participating, less people would be motivated to leave this site.

Here you have let your wounded Child and critical Parent ego-states obstruct and corrupt your Adult sensibilities, but instead used them more effectively to balance out the compulsive drivers of your Child and Parent ego-states as follows here:

I Sperg said:

A less drastic position would seem to be, If I were to simply "modify my conduct better in order to fit in", but for some reason, (perhaps described in teh cenrtal word of this websites banner) that course of action seems to be harder than just walking away, or perhaps just retreating to the echo chamber of my inbox? 

In one sense it is harder to walk away from these situations in that the primary need to interact with others in a balanced way is not as such fulfilled, and the echoes of our Child and Parent ego-states continue to behaviourally haunt and possess us and anyone else that gets involved with these transactional rip-offs.

I Sperg said:

Over to to you guys, but one more thing:

JUST here, just now, in this thread only please obey this rule: As soon as you feel inclined to write a passionate post from the hip, do it by all means, but make sure you keep it safe adn ready to post, but sleep on it (literally) before htting send.

I think this is a serious and diffciult enough topic that it will take a day or two before the community works out a way that we can stem the flow of otherwise rational and valuable posters form this site. So there isn't a race to post before obscurity sets in. I'll bump it myself at least over the weekend if replies are sparse.

I have asked for a second opinion both from the wiser members of this site, and also the admins on occasion, (for about two years now), as to whether I make a net positive contribution to the site, because in addition to the guilt I feel when anyone takes violent objection to something I said then appears to "strop off, comlaing bitterly" I also get periods where I get sick of the conversation and want to leave for my own personal reasons. There is an element of addiction to this stuff, that if I'm doing no good, I ought to be working harder to break. 

The addictive element is a socially fostered and personally adopted re-characterisation of one’s self in order to fulfil other people’s social demands ~ rather than one’s own personal needs.

I Sperg said:

I created a "safe space" thread instead where I can go and share the most innocent and non-controversial of human activities, looking at each others pussycats. (I wonder if that word will make it past the filter?)  Everyone copes in different ways, but maybe as a community we can make ourselves stronger somehow if we talk more about this weakness we seem to suffer from?  

Maybe consider this problem as actually being an encumbrance rather than as such a weakness?

Deal with the cause (‘critical’ Parent and ‘wounded’ Child ego-states) rather than the symptom (‘obstructed’ and ‘corrupted’ Adult sensibilities), and all that.

Welcome back.

I have missed your erudite posts.

Welcome back.

Lack of appearances can be deceptive ~ in that I have been visiting and reading from time to time, but on account of bureaucratic states of affairs and stacks upon stacks of note-taking ~ I was just too burnt-out to even contemplate writing anything at all.

I have missed your erudite posts.

I have so very much not missed the proverbial headache of writing them, but the treasure-trove exchange rates of communication are very much appreciated, thank you ~ and everyone else of course too.

Welcome back.

Lack of appearances can be deceptive ~ in that I have been visiting and reading from time to time, but on account of bureaucratic states of affairs and stacks upon stacks of note-taking ~ I was just too burnt-out to even contemplate writing anything at all.

I have missed your erudite posts.

I have so very much not missed the proverbial headache of writing them, but the treasure-trove exchange rates of communication are very much appreciated, thank you ~ and everyone else of course too.