Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I was diagnosed with autism a few years ago when I was 17 and under CAMHS. I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder type 2 in 2021 when I was 19. I am now 22 and have been under my local cmht sporadically over the past 3 years. I believe both these diagnoses to be correct.
It was suggested earlier this year that I may have BPD, I didn't know much about the disorder at the time but I have since researched and completely disagree. I maybe fit 1 or 2 points within the criteria or diagnosis. I have also read that quite a lot of autistic people (mainly women, I am male but was "born female") are given a BPD diagnosis incorrectly. I have read a bit more about the intersection between the disorders and how autistic and BPD traits can seem similar but come from and are fuelled by completely different experiences.
To be honest, I just think I am autistic and bipolar as both diagnoses fit me incredibly well. However, I recently received my summary letter from my last meeting with the psychiatrist and the bipolar diagnosis has been taken off. In the letter he says he wants to focus on my symptoms and noted that I have never responded to medication given. I agree that I haven't responded to medication in the past but I have never tried any medication (like mood stabilisers) that is recommended for people with bipolar and I don't know why. I understand they don't want to over-medicate but trying something that hasn't been tried and that might really make a difference seems pretty common sense.
I am currently in what I would call a depressive episode/period and have been since last November. I have always had very short interventions of CBT or emotional coping skills or just practical problem solving always after a major crisis where I have ended up in hospital or under the crisis resolution team. As soon as I am "stable" I am discharged back to my GP. I am trying to be a better advocate for myself this time (asked for a proper psychology referral and really want to ask about a mood stabiliser and talk about my diagnosis) but I don't want to seem pushy or difficult or like I know better than actual professionals.
I am so scared that this experience is going to end exactly the same as before and the cycle is going to go round year after year. Does anyone have any advice on how to communicate well with my care coordinators and psychiatrist. I find it really difficult (I think because of my autism) to say how I am feeling or thinking when asked because I often have no idea what I am feeling or thinking. I've had some success writing things down but I sometimes feel so scared to hand what I've written over and often when I do manage to give what I've written they say they'll read it between appointments but then in the next one they'll s not bring it up or say they haven't had a chance to read it yet. I think they probably forget and, again, I don't want to be pushy by reminding. I just feel so lost and scared for the future. If anyone has any advice at all I would be so grateful.