Published on 12, July, 2020
I've recently been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum, described as someone with high functioning autism.
I'm old enough that to me, autism is something very different to the more modern understanding and I'm having a hard time letting go of self hating terms like I'm broken, that I'm a freak, that I'm never going to get better.
I've had mental health issues most of my life and have been on some form of medication for about 60% of my life. Had a traumatic childhood event as well to contend with.
I joined up because I'm hoping to get a clearer understanding of what this means, how to reconcile the difficulties I have at work, particularly with emotional control when I'm questioned or challenged inappropriately.
I am currently seeing a therapist who specialises in treating neurodivergant people as well
The problem of autism being seen as entirely negative is largely historical. Before the mid 1990s the majority of people - mostly children - who were diagnosed were also intellectually disabled to some extent. Therefore, autism and intellectual disability were conflated. Now it is seen that people with average, above average and indeed intellectually gifted people can also show autistic traits to the extent that they too can be diagnosed.
For most autistics with good intellectual abilities their autism brings both negative and positive traits. Finding your own positive autistic traits can be a good way to improve your relationship with your autistic identity. For example, I believe that my autism gives me a heightened eye for detail and unusual abilities in problem solving, both of which were exceptionally useful in my profession.