Competition

I find competition and competitiveness really difficult, I don't really understand it and people get really wound up about it. I don't really care enough about winning or losing to bother it all just seems like a load of hassle for nothing, I dont' feel validated by wining, I shrug it off the same as I do losing. I don't understand why people get jealous if I win or get nasty and make stupid comments when I lose. Before I was diagnosed and was pretending to be "normal", I tried to mimic competitiveness and just ended up making myself and everyone around me feel terrible, I thought I was just copying the behaviours of others? Now if I play something like Scrabble, I just enjoy making words, I don't care about wining or losing, just using my admittedly vast vocabularly.  Now I'm finding life difficult because I really don't like sport and sport dominates TV schedules and conversation other media, apparently I should like it, I definately shouldn't object to it, I feel like a heretic refusing to bow down before the Great God Sport. I don't feel proud if Britain wins at anything, I feel absolutely nothing, well done to the team or individual who did something, now whats next, lets move on is the extent of it. I'm the same with team or individual sports, I don't get teams, I dislike working in teams, all I see are all the silly mind games NT's play and refuse to play. I don't see competition as either good or healthy, in my experience it's alienating and tries to fit square pegs into round holes, I find competitive people scary and frequently bullies. Whats good or healthy about that?