Published on 12, July, 2020
I am struggling with my husband (together for 7 years, he has ASD) correcting me.
Occasionally if I am coping well I can just not react and divert the situation. We also have a little one with complex medical needs and I have PTSD, so there is a lot going on that affects my ability to not react.
Other times I really don’t want to be corrected. Especially when he is challenging my memories of something, it feels like gaslighting (although I realise the intent is not the same). It feels like the cognitive dissonance required to have your memories questioned and ‘corrected’ is taking a significant toll on my mental health.
On occasions when I try and diffuse the situation he gets cross with me, especially if I say that it isn’t something I care to argue about.
On other occasions when I disagree, he cannot let the situation go. He gets very stuck in to correcting me. This is distressing for me. He then also states that he feels ‘unsafe’ and usually has a meltdown. This then results in him demanding an apology from me because he is upset.
Do other couples deal with this? Do you have ways of diverting it? Do you just agree, even if you don’t to keep the peace?
I would appreciate your experiences.
I can’t say much about this. I guess this is something people just do. I always find people correcting me and whilst it is mildly irritating I just try and stay calm and rational and think about a response that makes sense to me. I’ve never experienced this in a relationship. But I guess when you’ve been together for as long as you have you might get a bit tangled up with each other and feel irritated by each other at times. This is normal to an extent. But if it really bothers you two then you could try and find a common resolution. Or just find a way to be more accepting of each other.