Published on 12, July, 2020
I say almost obsession cause it's not ALWAYS in my mind...but there's this person that I don't see anymore that keeps haunting my head, I remember her from time to time and I get super emotional. Now this might seem not that weird but the thing is, I was never close to this person, we were never friends and I haven't seen her in years. The only thing is that I always found her really interesting and wanted to know her more so bad and always watched her in class in enjoyment... not seeing her now, feels like I've lost her story, it is annoyingly painful... she once approached me and I pushed her away suspecting my feelings might be love. You see, it would be a gay relationship which is a sin where I live.
So... I never truly understood what's going on. How could it be love if I was never really close to her? And I definitely don't know her anymore, after years, everybody changes. So am I just confused cause I have a hard time with emotions and recognizing them? Is it just the despair and hopelessness, the thought that I might never have a romantic life? Is it kind of like mourning? I really wish to know what's going on with me and stop my feelings, it gets really painful at times.
Was it as annoying for you to keep thinking about them? Did you find a solution to stop the thoughts, if so, can you share?
Or anything more you can share if it's ok? I'm interested in your story since it feels the closest to my experience out of these replies.
i was so obsessed with someone i changed my name to be the same as theirs. This person I never met before but really looked up to them.
I've run the risk of that happening with my therapist atm, but I intend to talk to her about it.
She definitely does feel a void, she is the closest experience I've had to love. If I forget her it's like I've never had anything.
HMO said:I do relate to forming an idea of someone in my head without actually knowing much about them, or being close with them. I think that's basically what you're describing; infatuation
I've had this a few times with people. One was with my doctor and because she was so nice to me and understanding I formed this image of her in my head and suddenly felt like she was my best friend. I think I came across as bad in the end, shame as it was honestly how I saw her.
I never have understood people particularly well, unfortunately.
HMO said:limerence
Thank you HMO, that's also a new one on me.
Ben
I was unaware of limerence until now too.
Maybe she fills a void in your life in some way. Or it could be as simple as a crush.
I'm grateful for your reply, infatuation and limerence are words I didn't know, however they still don't explain how I feel I think. Now I might have misunderstood their meanings, but in my case, I didn't mind if she wouldn't reciprocate my feelings, I actually was aware that she probably wouldn't be into me.
And I didn't have an idealized version of her in my mind, she had flaws and could get annoying but I still was fascinated with her I wish I knew why.
I do relate to forming an idea of someone in my head without actually knowing much about them, or being close with them. I think that's basically what you're describing; infatuation.
I've convinced myself I'm crazy in love with someone but I know little about them, and of what I do know, we have next to nothing in common anyway. Different communication styles too.
I don't know if there is a solution, but there's also something called limerence which ties into what you're saying.