Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm a carer for a young man who is autistic and we have been going to football matches for some time. He has always been quite verbal at games, both positively and negatively, but recently his shouting has become more frequent and aggressive. We don't sit in an area that's excessively loud, so it's quite noticeable, and I have noticed other fans becoming more aware of it. I have tried talking and being calm when this happens, or addressing it and telling him he needs to try to stay calm, but his behaviour stays the same. It's coming to the point where I feel we shouldn't go, but I know he would be devastated by this.
I have never been to any football and I would love to go a chiefs game someday
Have asked him about that possibility, but he doesn't like the idea as "they're too loud" He likes the group of people we sit with too and feels comfortable with them.
I understand from family experience that fans can be loud. Where they go there are different areas, some louder than others. I was wondering if next season it would be possible to sit in a different area where it is already noisy so less noticeable.
Yes, it is tricky. He doesn't drink. As you say, age and maturity, I've said to him to watch how others around us behave, but easier said than done in the moment. He's also tried chewing on mints etc, again fine if you can see it building, but not easy for flashpoints.
Aw that’s a shame maybe he’s getting overwhelmed then. It’s good that you’re concerned about him. Maybe try seeing if he can attend therapy as he could get to the root cause of his social issues that way. I wouldn’t suggest telling him to stop going as that may make things worse. It’s a hard one though I suppose he has to learn how to behave in these situations for himself too that can come with age and maturity. But you’re doing a good job by telling him to calm down when he gets a bit agitated. Does he drink alcohol before going into the football? As alcohol can make us all a bit too loud and aggressive don’t need to be autistic for that to happen either. If this is the case maybe suggest going to a family kind of football game and going sober see how that is?
Quite happy for him to do his thing, but I can sense him becoming overwhelmed with how he's feeling, to the point where he's physically shaking. The language of his verbal outbursts have also become more expletive ridden. Trust me I shout too sometimes, as do others, but I know where to draw the line. I'm just concerned he'll either have a complete meltdown, or will say something that provokes a reaction from someone that will put him in danger.
I think this is normal for a football match just let him do his thing. If people around you have a problem with it just tell them they’re at a football game where people are shouting it’s normal nothing to worry about. If you don’t feel safe being around shouting maybe suggest another carer who is more comfortable going to football games. Hope this helps.
Tends to be when something goes against us, or he perceives it has, for example a foul. I understand you might be annoyed, but his reactions are becoming more verbally aggressive. He is also very expressive with his arms, gesticulating and pointing. He actually caught someone on the back of the head recently, but did immediately apologise.
Do you know why hes shouting?