Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello my 15 year old son became hugely anxious and stopped attending school about 5 months ago. He’s since had an autism diagnosis and we’ve come to realise that he has been masking and struggling for years and that the pressure of GCSEs finally pushed him to a point where he couldn’t continue. I feel horribly guilty that we didn’t spot it before now and he has been struggling for so long - we had a big bereavement in our family when he was 4 and I think everyone assumed his behaviour was trauma related.
Other than the autism assessment he’s been unable to attend any medical/therapy appts in recent months - he gets to the door and then has a melt down. So we’ve decided to take all pressure off and just give him time to recover and only do things he feels able to do. So no school (and accepting GCSES prob wont happen this year) and focussing on his love of music and films.
However, I am worried about his mental health - anxiety is still high (although not as intense as it was) and he has body image issues. He is not self harming and doesn’t seem to have suicidal ideation. We had our first meeting with CAMHS last week and I really don’t feel like they are taking his mental health issues seriously and are only focusing on signposting autism support. He’s found art therapy helpful in the past (for trauma) but that therapist feels he needs more help than she can offer eg cbt.
I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in this situation, am I doing the right thing by allowing time for him to recover with the hope that he’ll manage more therapy in the future?
thank you!
I cannot thankyou enough for posting about your son, I have been through an almost identical journey as your boy and I am now 25. I completed 13 GCSES while trying to work a Saturday job, Completed 3 A levels and and AS level. I was a high masking all this time...By the time I got to uni and was living by my self I literally stopped being able to function and became sui**dal and thankgod I was mentally strong enough because I have a little one now. I did not have a family which was supportive of me through my mental health Infact they shamed me and it almost pushed me over the edge.
So thankyou so much for addressing your sons difficulties from a daughter to a mother you are doing the best for him right now by asking for support.
From my experience the only thing which can help your boy is easements being put in place for him during his education, extra support at school from teachers who are trained to understand ASD and lots and I mean LOTS of rest and downtime. It took me 2 years of sleeping in my bed to recover from all those school years of burn out.
I must admit CBT is always recommended for ASD people but due to those on the spectrum having difficulty with either introspection or hyper self awareness it can be difficult for this treatment to help but always good to encourage this support as it may lead to further support.
My advice is to get a therapist who is trained to work with ASD people/children. I wish I had the chance to have this, I now experience blood pressure issues and immunity issues because It was not addressed sooner.
I hope your boy gets the help he needs, too many young ones undiagnosed are suffering so much respect to you for reaching out!
Hello, I’m so sorry you didn’t get the support you needed at the time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and being so kind and supportive: I’m experiencing a lot of guilt for not identifying his autism sooner (I work in education and have taught lots of young neurodiverse people). I’m now just hoping I can get the support we need to help him through this.