Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello my 15 year old son became hugely anxious and stopped attending school about 5 months ago. He’s since had an autism diagnosis and we’ve come to realise that he has been masking and struggling for years and that the pressure of GCSEs finally pushed him to a point where he couldn’t continue. I feel horribly guilty that we didn’t spot it before now and he has been struggling for so long - we had a big bereavement in our family when he was 4 and I think everyone assumed his behaviour was trauma related.
Other than the autism assessment he’s been unable to attend any medical/therapy appts in recent months - he gets to the door and then has a melt down. So we’ve decided to take all pressure off and just give him time to recover and only do things he feels able to do. So no school (and accepting GCSES prob wont happen this year) and focussing on his love of music and films.
However, I am worried about his mental health - anxiety is still high (although not as intense as it was) and he has body image issues. He is not self harming and doesn’t seem to have suicidal ideation. We had our first meeting with CAMHS last week and I really don’t feel like they are taking his mental health issues seriously and are only focusing on signposting autism support. He’s found art therapy helpful in the past (for trauma) but that therapist feels he needs more help than she can offer eg cbt.
I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in this situation, am I doing the right thing by allowing time for him to recover with the hope that he’ll manage more therapy in the future?
thank you!
Imogen said:I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in this situation, am I doing the right thing by allowing time for him to recover with the hope that he’ll manage more therapy in the future?
Absolutely you are doing the right thing!! !! Your son is so lucky to have you - not every parent is as supportive unfortunately.
Burnout is a horrible thing to experience. I have had it twice and both times were a horrible time where I had the most intense fatigue, pain and anxiety that I have ever experienced - the first time was during my GCSE's - the stress was too much to deal with but I kept trying and pushing and as with your son burnout occured. The only thing that helps burnout is rest - if you try to force yourself better you will make the burnout worse...
It's wonderful he has you helping him through this, that will be making a big difference that you are likely unaware of.
I think doing small things as he starts to get better will help him. Good that he is still interested in his special interests as well - that's a very good sign.
I hope this helps and he will be back to normal before long.
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue/autistic-adults
I found this page on the site for you as well. I hope this page will offer some support and guidance to you and your son.
Thank you so much for the encouraging and supportive reply