Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello my 15 year old son became hugely anxious and stopped attending school about 5 months ago. He’s since had an autism diagnosis and we’ve come to realise that he has been masking and struggling for years and that the pressure of GCSEs finally pushed him to a point where he couldn’t continue. I feel horribly guilty that we didn’t spot it before now and he has been struggling for so long - we had a big bereavement in our family when he was 4 and I think everyone assumed his behaviour was trauma related.
Other than the autism assessment he’s been unable to attend any medical/therapy appts in recent months - he gets to the door and then has a melt down. So we’ve decided to take all pressure off and just give him time to recover and only do things he feels able to do. So no school (and accepting GCSES prob wont happen this year) and focussing on his love of music and films.
However, I am worried about his mental health - anxiety is still high (although not as intense as it was) and he has body image issues. He is not self harming and doesn’t seem to have suicidal ideation. We had our first meeting with CAMHS last week and I really don’t feel like they are taking his mental health issues seriously and are only focusing on signposting autism support. He’s found art therapy helpful in the past (for trauma) but that therapist feels he needs more help than she can offer eg cbt.
I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in this situation, am I doing the right thing by allowing time for him to recover with the hope that he’ll manage more therapy in the future?
thank you!
I don't find cbt works effectively for the majority of anxiety that I face. CBT is about worry = anxiety so while cbt is a good tool to have under your belt generally, you can't think your way out of anxiety which is from sensory or executive function overwhelm. Also, autistic people can experience trauma for reasons neurotypical people might not. Also with cbt you have to rate your feelings on 1-10, I know I'm not the only autistic person who finds this difficult. There's also the fact that unless the therapist is autistic themselves there will probably be communication differences which can lead to difficulties in the sessions which he may or may not be aware of. There's likely still masking and going along with what's expected.
My experience is if in burnout, shutdown, overwhelm or whatever it is, it's rest and recuperation that's needed. The difficulty is once you are rested enough, to find a balance to get goung again without doing yourself in. Ie sitting at home listening to music and films is all very well but there will eventually come a point you need to start getting back out into the world.
What I have found useful is MBCT.
None of this constitutes medical advice.
Good luck for you and your son.
Hello thanks so much for your reply and sharing your experience of cbt. He found it really difficult to identify and label his emotions during the cbt sessions (unsurprisingly) and found them incredibly overwhelming. I will look up MBCT.